Dear Noobie

Forum for In-Game politics, relations and matters of justice.

Re: Dear Noobie

Postby colesie » Tue May 14, 2013 10:26 pm

Angel_of_Death wrote:its not claimed
the door is broken
you gave the stuff back
put a purse with silver on it

ok so anyone that passes by can just walk in and get the purse and everything else,without having to do anything.great job coles you really helped that noob out

Anyone is free to it :roll:
Just offering this guy a chance to get it first, not like it's a huge loss to me or anything lol
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Re: Dear Noobie

Postby Dallane » Tue May 14, 2013 11:28 pm

>helps noob
>everyone is mad
>razing bases is ok

What in the ***** am I reading?
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Re: Dear Noobie

Postby Ornery » Wed May 15, 2013 3:41 am

Dallane wrote:>helps noob
>everyone is mad
>razing bases is ok

What in the ***** am I reading?


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Re: Dear Noobie

Postby Tylan » Wed May 15, 2013 12:37 pm

I agree with the OP, this definitely belongs in HoB. Otherwise how would we ever be able to otherwise witness the profound battle between Coles and his conscience? Very avant garde, Mr. Coles. What does it say about the piece that the attention it derives is from the choices made by the raider to reverse his heinous act is far greater than any sympathy provided to the noob who has an improper concept of game mechanics? Greater still, what does it say about us? Although I feel a female role is severely underplayed, I realize the restrictions you face when planning these artistic masterpieces and won't hold it against you.

But wait. Oh, of course! You sly devil, I believe I've figured it out!

The base is the maidenhood of your first love. She is tender, young, but naive and unprepared for your lecherous intentions. I need not even mention the sword as a phallic symbol through the ages, but here we have a very visceral representation as you utilize it to burst you way in. The numbers increase (10%, 20%, 30%) and you begin to feel your energy drain, but it feels so right! As they climb (50%, 60%) the gates grow red (blood flow increasing to the female genitalia) until finally (80%, 90%, completion!) you've broken through the maidenhead and have claimed her as you own.

But what's this?? Our protagonist does not feel complete himself? In frustration he knows that he should feel something, and yet his lack of emotion is all we are shown. Angst and impatience drive him to in some way revenge himself upon her. Why, he thinks, should she, his love, feel so open and free when he himself cannot feel anything? And so you try to hurt her, try to demean her, to make her know she is less than your expectations. You make off with her pride and dignity, leaving her legs open and sins against God on high bright and pronounced for the whole world to see!

Suddenly there is feeling. It is not as you would have hoped, the revenge did little to sate your longing for positive emotion. Instead, there is only regret. Using that same phallic symbol, you wrangle two beavers. Another clever use of symbolism there, Mr. Coles. Very clever indeed. In his primal state, what does man know about the needs of a woman when he is but a man? And so you provide to her what you want, or at least wanted most, twice over. Unfortunately three is hardly better than one, but the protagonist in his ignorance is saved from such complex notions. And what then!? HE PAYS HER!

This is truly profound. Our protagonist, clearly a classic chauvinist, has attempted a child-like gift of vaginal symbolism only to then pay her for her services, unknowingly further debasing her as both a woman and an individual. God, that was so well done. Truly, you are a genius. Bravo, sir.

Now he leaves fulfilled, finally, lost in the clouds of his own mind, thinking he has done right by her. Never before have I seen such direct story-telling into the male psyche. Granted, it took some reading between the lines, but the delicate strokes of your creativity can't help but bleed through. Thank you for sharing, OP, and I look forward to an encore performance piece the likes of which can surely only rival this debut work.
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Re: Dear Noobie

Postby Kaios » Wed May 15, 2013 1:14 pm

Tylan wrote:TLDR
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Re: Dear Noobie

Postby Tylan » Wed May 15, 2013 1:56 pm

Kaios wrote:
Tylan wrote:TLDR


It would appear you misquoted me and something happened where the message in which you were referencing my literary critique of OP's heartfelt tale must have deleted your comments. Feel free to edit your response to include praise, further criticism, or some other form of commentary related to the OP. I'd hate for the mods to think you were spamming a thread with a completely inane, useless reply. I hear they can be tough on offenders.
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Re: Dear Noobie

Postby Potjeh » Wed May 15, 2013 2:06 pm

House of Burgesses
Forum for In-Game politics, relations and matters of justice.

I don't see how this doesn't fit, so please drop that derail already.
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