by Tylan » Wed May 15, 2013 12:37 pm
I agree with the OP, this definitely belongs in HoB. Otherwise how would we ever be able to otherwise witness the profound battle between Coles and his conscience? Very avant garde, Mr. Coles. What does it say about the piece that the attention it derives is from the choices made by the raider to reverse his heinous act is far greater than any sympathy provided to the noob who has an improper concept of game mechanics? Greater still, what does it say about us? Although I feel a female role is severely underplayed, I realize the restrictions you face when planning these artistic masterpieces and won't hold it against you.
But wait. Oh, of course! You sly devil, I believe I've figured it out!
The base is the maidenhood of your first love. She is tender, young, but naive and unprepared for your lecherous intentions. I need not even mention the sword as a phallic symbol through the ages, but here we have a very visceral representation as you utilize it to burst you way in. The numbers increase (10%, 20%, 30%) and you begin to feel your energy drain, but it feels so right! As they climb (50%, 60%) the gates grow red (blood flow increasing to the female genitalia) until finally (80%, 90%, completion!) you've broken through the maidenhead and have claimed her as you own.
But what's this?? Our protagonist does not feel complete himself? In frustration he knows that he should feel something, and yet his lack of emotion is all we are shown. Angst and impatience drive him to in some way revenge himself upon her. Why, he thinks, should she, his love, feel so open and free when he himself cannot feel anything? And so you try to hurt her, try to demean her, to make her know she is less than your expectations. You make off with her pride and dignity, leaving her legs open and sins against God on high bright and pronounced for the whole world to see!
Suddenly there is feeling. It is not as you would have hoped, the revenge did little to sate your longing for positive emotion. Instead, there is only regret. Using that same phallic symbol, you wrangle two beavers. Another clever use of symbolism there, Mr. Coles. Very clever indeed. In his primal state, what does man know about the needs of a woman when he is but a man? And so you provide to her what you want, or at least wanted most, twice over. Unfortunately three is hardly better than one, but the protagonist in his ignorance is saved from such complex notions. And what then!? HE PAYS HER!
This is truly profound. Our protagonist, clearly a classic chauvinist, has attempted a child-like gift of vaginal symbolism only to then pay her for her services, unknowingly further debasing her as both a woman and an individual. God, that was so well done. Truly, you are a genius. Bravo, sir.
Now he leaves fulfilled, finally, lost in the clouds of his own mind, thinking he has done right by her. Never before have I seen such direct story-telling into the male psyche. Granted, it took some reading between the lines, but the delicate strokes of your creativity can't help but bleed through. Thank you for sharing, OP, and I look forward to an encore performance piece the likes of which can surely only rival this debut work.
jorb wrote:you fat-fingered, trigger happy nabbly-boos.
We write as a defense against the void, against the unknown that is the other side of death.
-C. Leland
