I know many of you have been anxiously awaiting the discovery of the Tribal Lands so that you can learn to build your base. However, with each passing day it becomes increasingly obvious that no Squatter will have the courage to seek out our lands let alone the bravery to make the journey. While it pains me to make this observation, I feel that the real losers in all of this are the Squatters of Salem whose thirst for a good base-design remains. As a token of good faith I decided to share with you the professional Base designs that I encounter in the world so that you may learn from your brothers. If you come accross an exceptionally well-built base that you would like me to comment on please feel free to PM it to me and I will do my best to walk you through it.
EXHIBIT 1 "The Downsyndrome"
1.
Have you been putting your braziers INSIDE the walls? Why? Because everybody is doing it huh? Well thats a stupid answer and so is braziers behind walls. Nothing says "BACK THE (*#$ UP" like a brazier in FRONT of your walls. Not to mention when people are running away the brazier can shoot at them for longer. This strategy works even better if you wear your clothes inside-out before logging on as well.
2.
Turkey coops filling with Turkey poops? "Oh look at me I can get 5% speed on my fields". WHO CARES! You have clearly been missing the most important aspect of your Turkeys. Surveilance Camera's anyone? Notice how this person has his coops perfectly positioned to give a 185 degree field of view. More than two sides of his base are now under the vigilant watch of his feathered friends.
Turkeys: "GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE".
Raider #1: "WTF IS THAT?"
Raider #2: "THE TURKEYS JUST SAW US!!!!!"
Raider #1: "F*ck that lets get out of here!"
Turkeys: "GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE"
Yeah that is EXACTLY how it goes down in the raiding scene. Annoying Turkey sound? Or Early raiding detection system. You be the judge.
3.
Are you putting your walls all the way around your base including your farms? Do you have any idea how much granite and stone that takes? Its important that you put 4 drying racks IN the base then 4 drying racks OUTSIDE the base. See now your assaulter has to make a decision. Destroy the **** outside.... or Destroy the **** inside. Sure the clever ones might destroy BOTH but how often do you see a clever raider? Placing your whole base INSIDE your walls is like putting all your eggs in one basket. Or better yet all your turkeys in one coop. Ever put all your Turkeys in ONE coop and then went afk for 2 days. Doesn't work too well does it!
4.
So many times I see the classical "rectangle" base design. Then every once in awhile you get some **** person who decides to count the tiles and makes a square. But when is the last time you saw a L with a line of a wall, then a random f*cking corner post not connected to anything, then a claim stone all perfectly arranged to store 2 boxes and an anvil from absolutely nothing? You havn't. Just because you havn't seen it doesn't mean it isn't pure genius. When a Raider sees a rectangular wall he knows that any one place he hits will get him inside. But when he sees your half a dozen wall segments looking like an origami swan that went through a paper shredder does he know which wall to hit? Not a chance. Next time your building a wall try this.
#1 Right click the corner post.
#2 Blindfold yourself
#3: Spin around in your swivel chair 3 times.
#4: Start clicking the mouse everywhere until you hear a wall segment build.
Repeat this until your wall is complete and you will have something remarkably similar to our subject here.
I hope this helps you guys and I look forward to showcasing more professional base designs in the future.
Chief PeePooKaKa
MM Tribe
. Hope to see a post a day, as to keep the doctor away 
... I built one off to the side of my claim thinking, 'Oh, I'll just extend the claim before I log off.'... internet crashes, log in later, bread oven gone. *mourns breadoven, builds new one*
