Zookeeper: Did you hear about the baby that was fed elephants milk and gained 20 pounds in a week?
Man: What? Impossible! Whose baby was it?
Zookeeper: The elephants.
A pirate walks into a bar and the bar tender says, "Hey, is that a steering wheel in your pants?" The pirate replies, "Yarr, it's drivin' me nuts!"
A woman gets onto a bus with her baby and the busdriver says "thats the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The angry woman sits down in her seat and says to the woman next to her, "Did you hear that? The bus driver just insulted me!" The woman next to her says, "Well you should probably tell him off. Here, I'll hold your monkey for you."