ADD / ADHD is not real?

[Nektaris]

Funny thing is that I'm living with two other room-mates in a different city from the one I've spent my whole life. (because of the university)
I have no problems with them but I tend to not consider them as "real friends". I don't know why, it's just that I can't relate to people, like I don't trust them (probably because of events happened to me during childhood).

@lachlaan I just can't vent to anyone, even with my parents. I feel like this problem is a stupid thing not worth bothering others.

@Nictos That's true. When I focus on something I love to do (like playing LoL or Salem) I really enjoy myself but I also tend to isolate from the real world for obvious reasons.

@Dallane I don't have problems in getting out more, the problem is interacting with others. Man, that's hard.

[Nictos]

Funny thing is that I'm living with two other room-mates in a different city from the one I've spent my whole life. (because of the university)
I have no problems with them but I tend to not consider them as "real friends". I don't know why, it's just that I can't relate to people, like I don't trust them (probably because of events happened to me during childhood).

@lachlaan I just can't vent to anyone, even with my parents. I feel like this problem is a stupid thing not worth bothering others.

@Nictos That's true. When I focus on something I love to do (like playing LoL or Salem) I really enjoy myself but I also tend to isolate from the real world for obvious reasons.

I'm sorry to hear about your childhood. I really would see a therapist if you can though, it's not worth dragging that stuff for the rest of your life.

The way I went from heavy gaming to light gaming was to forcibly delete every game I had and sit there for 3 days going, "Well.... what now". Eventually it got better.

[Nektaris]

Can't afford a therapist or something like that.
Like you did, I stoppend playing every type of game for a month or two (*****, lost my town in Salem) but nothing changed. (except for the fact that now I train my body everyday and look slightly better, but this is not useful in any way)
I wish there was an easy solution.

It's a gift for many reasons. People with ADD excel in:

- Creativity
- Multitasking
- Abstract thinking
- Analyzation
- Hyper-focus on the things they love

To list a few, so don't get discouraged.

True but there are downsides too in those "gifts".

[Dallane]

@Dallane I don't have problems in getting out more, the problem is interacting with others. Man, that's hard.

Its not that bad. You are a nurd so do some nurd things. Find a game shop where they play magic or warhammer and interact with people and learn a new game. Depending on the city there are loads of things to do to get out and interact with people.

[lachlaan]

Well if you can't get access to a therapist, paid one at least, perhaps check to see if any free services are offered in your area. Alternatively, try joining clubs/activities/groups with students in the last year of study at your college. I guarantee you they will have advice and stories that will help heaps. Just look for likeminded people that have been through it all already, and you'll both see that it gets better eventually even if it sometimes gets worse, as well as get some advice on how to steer it all in a better direction.

Also don't knock the whole fitness thing. If ever I have a period of being overwhelmed, one of the few things that helps is exercise. A long walk/bike ride, sort of letting your mind drift and trying to "feel" your way around, get a sense for how to calm it down. I'm with Nictos on this one, find your zen activity. Something constructive, creative, both literally and figuratively. It does wonders to create something from start to finish. Both for your mood as well as your ability to focus on one thing. Just make sure it's something you'd enjoy to see finished

[Nektaris]

@Dallane I don't have problems in getting out more, the problem is interacting with others. Man, that's hard.

Depending on the city

You live in America (right?) while I live in ****** Italy where everyone has a closed-mind and things like places where to meet other nerds do not exist here.

@lachlaan My "zen activity" is doing push-ups every day to relieve the stress. Also the university I chose (informatics, I don't how do you call it, anyway I'm studying programming) there are only socially akward penguins like me. Man I'm living a joke.

[lachlaan]

Should print this on a piece of paper and flash it at other people in your field.

"Hi, I'm a socially awkward penguin, are you a socially awkward penguin too? We should talk! Laugh for yes and frown for no." xD

Also, try the comic cons if you're near any of them, plenty of nerds there. I've also seen at least a few instances of tabletop game shops/events in my area of italy.

[Nektaris]

I guess you live in the north part of the country, am I right? I'm on the opposite side, you know what does that mean..

I've read some articles all over the internet on how to find a solution for this social anxiety and everyone suggests to just getting started in social events step by step.
Now I'm asking (if any of you had my same problem) what was your approach to the situation?

[Dallane]

@Dallane I don't have problems in getting out more, the problem is interacting with others. Man, that's hard.

Depending on the city

You live in America (right?) while I live in ****** Italy where everyone has a closed-mind and things like places where to meet other nerds do not exist here.

@lachlaan My "zen activity" is doing push-ups every day to relieve the stress. Also the university I chose (informatics, I don't how do you call it, anyway I'm studying programming) there are only socially akward penguins like me. Man I'm living a joke.

#1 you are making excuses to be a massive beta male

#2 I'm 100% sure there are things for you to do to get out and about to meet and interact with people. I see around 50+ game shops in italy with around 20ish being 100% gamesworkshop stores. This is only from a quick google.

You are in college! Get involved with school ****!

#3 if you are socially awkward in IT then you are going to most likely fail or severely hinder yourself. Networking is 90% of getting IT jobs. You wouldn't believe how many offers and call backs I get just for being able to interact with people. You got to be able to communicate with people so you can properly support whatever company you get hired with.

[Nektaris]

Yeah, most of them are excuses I tell to myself to avoid the problem. But I can't just going from socially akward to alpha male in one night.