It is I! Chief PeePooKaKa. Charimen for the Russian Adoption Placement Enterprise Division. Did you know that each month dozens of players of Russian origin, capable of only speaking Russian have their bases destroyed, characters killed, and sometimes even worse?
Meanwhile, each month we see dozens of forum posts in the Planters and Pilgrims section of the forums soliciting new players to join their villages when there is a happy healthy adoptable Russian looking for a new home.
You see most players we encounter of Russian origin are unable to speak English. Not only are they unable to speak the native tongue of the lands they landed in but they also seem unable to use google translate to communicate with their Tribal caretakers. As such these helpless individuals are incapable of paying the Treaty. Lets take the story of a little man I like to call "Gardarikavich Smashkorkian" (real name unknown due to previously mentioned language barrier).
Little G.S. had a lovely base. A base full of cupboards, churches, townhouses, etc.
But like so many before him little G.S. did not pay his Treaty. He simply hid on the outskirts of his base while the boats came in to liberate his material wealth.
That which could not fit in the Tribal Boats was delivered as a magnificent birthday present.... To the Ground...
And before long the city that little G.S. worked on for months and months was nothing more than a shell of its previous glory.
And the Tribe left little G.S. all to himself in his river of tears over losing all that he once loved.
Now if only little G.S. had a loving family that cared enough to babelfish or google translate his backwards letters into a meaningful offer to pay the Treaty this all could have been avoided. Thats where you and the Russian Adoption Placement Enterprise Divison come into play. All you need to do is sign up to the program and the Tribe will match you with a non-english speaking non-treaty paying Russian who is about to be R.A.P.E.D. You will have 24 hours to use translator software and either pay the Treaty for him and adopt him as your little pen-pal friend OR relocate him into your already treaty Paying base. A true win/win for all involved. Also if you would like to sign up as a registered Tribal "Foster Home" then we can move Russian players who we find homeless to your location while they figure out the conversion rate from rupees to silver.
Unlike your Typical Pets we have found that Russians are both hard working and extremely organized. Most of them seem to be house trained and rarely have we placed any that make excessive noise and/or have problems digging around your yards. Screenshots of your base you plan to keep them in will need to be submitted so that we can do a field inspection and make sure that where you plan to house your new Russian is acceptable humane living conditions. Together we can build a better tomorrow and help bring back this near-extinct playerbase that continues to suffer due to Tribal expansion.
Chief PeePooKaKa
MM Tribe
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zjo-Kp5rekQ
