Salem

(100th post, woohoo! Here, have a short story while I celebrate with myself.)

Detective Douche leans back in his chair, a foul stench of liquor on his breath.

"No ma'am, I have not seen buildings appear and disappear randomly throughout our glorious Providence," he says to a bewildered Embie. "please refrain yourself from bothering me with such insolence."

As he puts the phone down, he hears a familiar knocking on the door.

"Douche! I have information of utmost importance I must relay to you!" Greed hastily states while barging in to Douche's office.

"Oh Greed, my trusted servant, my stalwart defender, my second half... How would I remain stable, with my Pride still intact, after that incident... without you?" Douche utters with a dismissing tone.

"I have no time for your sarcastic flattery, Douche! Lay off the whiskey and listen to me!" a slightly irritated Greed exclaims.

Notably intrigued, Douche leans forth, as if to hear his confederate better.

"So here's the scoop..." Greed seems to calm down slightly. "I've found definite proof that these new... gods, as you call them, are but a hoax - they're indians dressed up in fancy clothes, stealing our technology to enhance their "magic"!"

"Would you care to enlighten me about this scoop?" Douche says.

"Right. As you know, I am not verbally trained for things such as these, so I decided to write it all down. Here, have a look." Greed responds.

Douche reads the note.

Greed's note wrote:-The name of their "pantheon" shares the same initials as the Tribe does (MM)

-Smugness of redskins has quadrupled since the initiation of these new gods

-TotalyMeow, one of these self-proclaimed "gods", speaks in a way very similar to one of the Tribe's core members, Mereni

-JohnCarver shares the same forename as the Chief does

-JohnCarver has a very typical indian tone on his voice

-These self-proclaimed "gods" stepped in and intervened with the banishment of several unlawful individuals not long after aforementioned individuals had been banished

-Any questions regarding their identity is dodged

-Clever wording is used to indicate that they've never been lesser tribal members; not denying that they may very well be among their higher ranks

Douche puts down the note and leans back in his chair, attempting to hide the fact that he is terrified.

"You're definitely on to something if none of these notes are but your regular inane ramblings." Douche scoffs with a shaky voice. "But I need proof. Is there a way to bring forth the presence of the gods?"

"Douche, they're showing off their magic in our beautiful town as we are speaking! How much did you drink?" Greed reasons.

"Fine fine, I'll have a look."

Douche slams the door to his office behind him, only to see that Embie was right - almost every building has been removed or replaced. Greed tries to follow but quickly loses Douche in the masses.

"By loftar, what is this?!?" Douche yells, barely capable of keeping his overwhelming feeling of fear and terror in check.

"I will find this false prophet and prove to the world that he is but a meddling *****!"

Douche thinks to himself. "If he is indeed a redskin teaching lessons of falsehood and producing false magic, the town center would be his main source of generating mindless followers."

Looking around, he soon finds JohnCarver who is indeed located in the town center.

"As I predicted. JohnCarver is in the town center, spreading misinformation among the masses."

"I will have to wait until the people have dispersed and JohnCarver to leave. Only then can I assume my search for answers."



A few hours pass, midnight is nigh. The streets are empty and JohnCarver is leaving Providence.

Douche follows JohnCarver to the backside of the bank.

"Where is that Greed when you need him..." Douche ponders.

Following that thought, JohnCarver scans his surroundings to make sure he is not being stalked. Hiding in a conveniently placed bush, Douche remains undetected.

JohnCarver removes his pristine clothing as well as the green hair and beard. A familiar figure treads forth.

"It's... It's Chief! Greed was right!"

Douche loses his calm and collected nature and attempts to run back to his office.

"White man do not make haste. White man die." Chief explains.

Chief aims his infamous REP gun against Douche.

"You lose REP, you lose dignity, you lose life."

"Greed! Greed, jorb damn it! Where are you?" Douche screams while grasping for air.

"Too late, white man. Greed already Tribe. This time you lose."

PeePooKaka fires the REP gun at Douche.

"No, no... It cannot be true. My most trusted companion abandoned me?" Douche loses his will to run. "Shoot me then. My REP matters no more."



Hours later, about to succumb to his REP loss, Douche utters one last phrase.

"Those meddling Tribe kids got their way again! Curse them! Curse them all!!!"

lmao look at this degenerate









(Out of character edit: Please take this short story with a grain of salt.)

lol. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fU0uiGAm_SY

JohnCarver wrote:lol. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fU0uiGAm_SY

Fantastic film. Only saw it once in the cinemas, could never find it in any store. +1

I quite enjoyed it as well. So many great twists.

Loved the story!! Now I must watch this movie but my dog ate the remote. I await chapter 2

I'm also worried about the secretiveness of the whole transaction.

Here are some other facts that we know:

The Chief wanted to buy Salem and even supposedly made Jorb and Loftar an offer.

The first thing MM inc. did when they took over the forums was prevent the mods from checking IP numbers for people posting on the forum.

The Chief has changed his forum name from jwhitehorn to Peepookaka.

While Totallymeow does sound like Mereni, John Carver sounds suspiciously like PmP, and PmP hasn't posted on the forum since the hand over.

Several of the original tribal members have basic game development skills in Unity which J carver has given as their experience.

Every single tribal member, jorb, loftar and of course J Carver and TMeow have avoided answering any questions as to the new owners identity.

The MM guild and MM inc. websites both use the same proxy server in Arizona. Even though this is a huge proxy server it tends to reveal that they are in the same region.

The MM inc. development company's website is so basic as to lead us to conclude that they're either a bunch of beginners who scraped up enough to buy Salem or they only know the basics of webdesign like the tribe. No actual development company has such a basic website. They registered their domain name using GoDaddy.com which makes no sense. Any actual veteran game development company would not use GoDaddy to register their domain name. The domain also lists GoDaddy for all it's contact and billing info which is either highly amateurish or an attempt to hide the owner of the company.

Most worrying of all is that although J Carver and Totallymeow both seem like they have played this game for a long time but they refuse to reveal who their previous in-game or forum names were.

I'm also excited about the new owners even if it is the Chief and MM. Only time will tell if they can successfully dev the game but right now all the secretiveness and lack of information about the new owners isn't exactly comforting.

Claeyt wrote:I'm also worried about the secretiveness of the whole transaction.

Here are some other facts that we know:

The Chief wanted to buy Salem and even supposedly made Jorb and Loftar an offer.

The first thing MM inc. did when they took over the forums was prevent the mods from checking IP numbers for people posting on the forum.

The Chief has changed his forum name from jwhitehorn to Peepookaka.

While Totallymeow does sound like Mereni, John Carver sounds suspiciously like PmP, and PmP hasn't posted on the forum since the hand over.

Several of the original tribal members have basic game development skills in the Unity engine which J carver has given as their experience.

Every single tribal member, jorb, loftar and of course J Carver and TMeow have avoided answering any questions as to the new owners identity.

The MM guild and MM inc. websites both use the same proxy server in Arizona. Even though this is a huge proxy server it tends to reveal that they are in the same region.

The MM inc. development comapny's website is so basic as to lead us to conclude that they're either a bunch of beginners who scraped up enough to buy Salem or they only know the basics of webdesign like the tribe. No actual development company has such a basic website. They registered their domain name using GoDaddy.com which makes no sense. Any actual veteran game development company would not use GoDaddy to register their domain name. The domain also lists GoDaddy for all it's contact and billing info which is either highly amateurish or an attempt to hide the owner of the company.

Most worrying of all is that although J Carver and Totallymeow both seem like they have played this game for a long time but they refuse to reveal who their previous in-game or forum names were.

I'm also excited about the new owners even if it is the Chief and MM. Only time will tell if they can successfully dev the game but right now all the secretiveness and lack of information about the new owners isn't exactly comforting.

you are Dumb that what i can tell you

if I tell you that the earth is square you also believe?

all this sleuthing failed to ask the most poignant question which is who gives a *****?

if the new developer logged in and turned everyone into a pile of turkey **** it would be more attention than the game has recieved in a long time, be happy someone took the reigns instead of the plug being pulled outright. if that someone winds up being a veteran of the game itself i fail to see how that is a negative.

Darwoth wrote:all this sleuthing failed to ask the most poignant question which is who gives a *****?

if the new developer logged in and turned everyone into a pile of turkey **** it would be more attention than the game has recieved in a long time, be happy someone took the reigns instead of the plug being pulled outright. if that someone winds up being a veteran of the game itself i fail to see how that is a negative.

Exactly. Indirectly attempted to point that out. It was more poking fun at all of the people who are trying to dig into this, trying to be "detectives".

Suffragium wrote:(Out of character edit: Please take this short story with a grain of salt.)