Oh F*CK it's Monday
Posted: Mon Sep 09, 2013 7:32 amIt's Monday again and today was probably the weirdest start of my day to date.
Day began like any other Monday:
Alarm woke me up at 6:00 AM, I got up and made some coffee.
Gulped up couple of ham sandwiches and watched some random ***** on TV. 6:40 I started my car and began driving my 10km drive to work.
I then stopped to last traffic lights and felt something in my throat - I felt like I had to cough. I coughed and that small bit of bread (or ham) triggered my gag reflex.. I felt warm vomit in my lap. At first, of course, I checked out if someone was next to me - and of course there was - a woman in a car next to me was staring right at me in disguist. I was shocked! Why did I vomit? I was not even hungover from the weekend today.
Then I gagged, and there was now even more vomit in my lap. Ham and bread pieces were staring me eye to eye, I felt sick. Lady next to me was gone, I heard a honk behind me and noticed lights had now turned green. As I pressed my legs tightly together I noticed how hard it was to drive a stick - I triumphed and shifted to first gear and speeded ahead. Vomit was wobbling on my lap as I turned left and right, I tried my best not to spill any of it on the seat or interiors of my car.
Car's wheel felt slippery and gearstick was covered with disguisting goo. Finally I reached my destination and carefully stepped out of the car, "I WAS FIRST HERE, HALLELUJAH" I thought. I rushed upstairs to locker room and started to clean my pants before changing. After changing I rushed to car and cleaned it as well.
Evidence - gone. Dignity - preserved. I stamped myself and started working.
So this was my Monday, I wonder if anyone can top this?
Day began like any other Monday:
Alarm woke me up at 6:00 AM, I got up and made some coffee.
Gulped up couple of ham sandwiches and watched some random ***** on TV. 6:40 I started my car and began driving my 10km drive to work.
I then stopped to last traffic lights and felt something in my throat - I felt like I had to cough. I coughed and that small bit of bread (or ham) triggered my gag reflex.. I felt warm vomit in my lap. At first, of course, I checked out if someone was next to me - and of course there was - a woman in a car next to me was staring right at me in disguist. I was shocked! Why did I vomit? I was not even hungover from the weekend today.
Then I gagged, and there was now even more vomit in my lap. Ham and bread pieces were staring me eye to eye, I felt sick. Lady next to me was gone, I heard a honk behind me and noticed lights had now turned green. As I pressed my legs tightly together I noticed how hard it was to drive a stick - I triumphed and shifted to first gear and speeded ahead. Vomit was wobbling on my lap as I turned left and right, I tried my best not to spill any of it on the seat or interiors of my car.
Car's wheel felt slippery and gearstick was covered with disguisting goo. Finally I reached my destination and carefully stepped out of the car, "I WAS FIRST HERE, HALLELUJAH" I thought. I rushed upstairs to locker room and started to clean my pants before changing. After changing I rushed to car and cleaned it as well.
Evidence - gone. Dignity - preserved. I stamped myself and started working.
So this was my Monday, I wonder if anyone can top this?
