Salem

Posted: **Mon Apr 04, 2016 12:44 am**

Mods,

I have a serious problem with a thread posted by a person called "Marp Tarpton" (that is a ridiculous name, btw). The thread was called "A Dialogue on the Penis". I don't have any problems with a thread full of penis pictures....quite the opposite, in fact. My issue is that I've become obsessed with the picture entitled "Troll Penis". Is it real? Why didn't the photographer include something in the pic as a reference for the size? Where would it fall on the "Average Troll Penis" (ATP) scale? How did it feel in the hands? It is all I can think about and it is causing me IRL distress, which is unacceptable.

Please rectify,

AFC

Posted: **Mon Apr 04, 2016 6:44 am**

Don't you like it?It was a perfect thread !!!You posted so many tears about a one thread but watching at your avatar i can say it's almost same ****.

Posted: **Mon Apr 04, 2016 9:09 am**

Brego wrote:Don't you like it?It was a perfect thread !!!You posted so many tears about a one thread but watching at your avatar i can say it's almost same ****.

Posted: **Tue Apr 05, 2016 6:28 pm**

I apologize. I will contact the curator immediately to have him send additional images if possible. For reference, I would say it was slightly larger than average in both girth and possible length; as it was flaccid when preserved this is difficult to huge. It is also worth noting it was very dirty with what seemed to be bits of food caught in the public hairs.

Posted: **Tue Apr 05, 2016 8:21 pm**

MarpTarpton wrote:It is also worth noting it was very dirty with what seemed to be bits of food caught in the public hairs.

Either it's a very messy eater, or people have been getting their faces a "bit" too close to it.

Posted: **Tue Apr 05, 2016 8:41 pm**

Everyone knows that trolls first soften their food by perforating it prior to consumption.

Posted: **Wed Apr 06, 2016 3:58 pm**

MarpTarpton wrote:For reference, I would say it was slightly larger than average in both girth and possible length; as it was flaccid when preserved this is difficult to huge. It is also worth noting it was very dirty with what seemed to be bits of food caught in the public hairs.

I was more concerned with heft, as opposed to length and girth. Like would it feel like a small bag of wet sand in the hand?

Also "bits of food".....I'm absolute diamonds.

AFC

P.S. How many "Troll Penis Fanclubs" currently exist in Salem and which ones should I join?

Posted: **Thu Apr 07, 2016 12:54 am**

AFullCodpiece wrote:How many "Troll Penis Fanclubs" currently exist in Salem and which ones should I join?

I don't think there are any, maybe you could start one? You could do hazing rituals to sort out new members from the chaff.

Posted: **Thu Apr 07, 2016 12:55 am**

I heard trolls were hunted to extinction for their penises.

Salem

Player "Marp Tarpton" should be banned

Player "Marp Tarpton" should be banned

Re: Player "Marp Tarpton" should be banned

Re: Player "Marp Tarpton" should be banned

Re: Player "Marp Tarpton" should be banned

Re: Player "Marp Tarpton" should be banned

Re: Player "Marp Tarpton" should be banned

Re: Player "Marp Tarpton" should be banned

Re: Player "Marp Tarpton" should be banned

Re: Player "Marp Tarpton" should be banned