Good evening,
Protestants.
To fellow Catholics,
May peace be upon you and light shine your way. Welcome to the debate.
Due to the immediate, as expected, success of the A&A Trade Company we have agreed to establish an area were fellow Catholics, and sadly filthy Protestants, may ask us questions and offer suggestions. Though keep in mind, Protestants, that it will require three of you to pass an idea as you are only worth 1/3rd of a persons liberty by the Great Ones. Thus is the Great One's wishes and we shall abide.
We shall take your concerns from our fliers and compile it here on the town notice board. You, lowly Protestants, will be able to think a little for yourselves. How nice! even better for you we shall keep it up to date so you may actually learn something besides stand around doing what Protestants do: Be worthless lifeforms hated by the Great Ones.
To begin, a series of questions with more to be added give the input.
I.
Q. Why must we endure this famine of all alcohol goods!?
A. Dear fellow Catholics and lowly Protestants. I understand your plight and despite all of our efforts, the only thing we can converge upon as a group and only this one thing as all else is blasphemy, we have been unable to have any ships come stocked with beverages from the Old World. We, that being Catholics and not you Protestants, have exhausted extreme efforts to brings such goods to our New World yet have encountered ill weather each voyage for the past twenty years. Yet rejoice! We have found a Great One to wander the New World in physical form, praise be for such an undertaking in our lowly form we are blessed with such a sight, and have prayed to the Great One to grant our ships a safe voyage. For once the Catholic Church, and your lowly higher Church which is worth more than you Protestants, is given safe voyage by this Great One our Company shall, alongside others including our good associates the Dutch East India Company and your lowly Protestant companies, grant you all the alcohol you desire. Continue your prayers fellow Catholics for the day is soon among us.
II.
Q. Why do you undercut your prices heavily?
A. That is for the Company and Church to know only lowly Protestant.
To fellow, kind, Catholics we do it to stop the filthy Protestants monopoly on the New World market. Indeed it is sad and one day we shall rid the world of there scourge, your support helps our ovens bake them into humble meat pies daily by good friends and we sell it back to them, yet it shall happen slowly but surely. It also allows us to make contact with the Great One to resurrect the Mountain and Gate so we may achieve Elysium. The Angles shall assist you soon my fellow Catholics. Your funds help us get closer to that goal.
III.
Q. If you and the Church hate Protestants, our lowly likes, so much then what do you think about Jews?
A. We have no idea what this "Jew" you speak of us. I can assure you that the rest of the Holy Roman Empire, controlled by the glorious Catholic Church, has none of these other Protestants you speak of. The more likely thing you should be assuming, though you are a Protestant so intelligence is not your strength, is that this "Jew" thing was eradicated long ago. Think of the bright side; you shall share the same fate of this "Jew" thing! Quite wonderful is it not?
IV.
Q. How do I get on the Pope Approved List?
A. By asking such a thing, filthy rat of a Protestant, you have already black-listed yourself from it. Simply being a Protestant is enough!
To my fellow Catholics. Why, such an astute question.I'm quite glad you asked my dear friends. It is quite simply you see. All you have to do is be a model of superiority to the filthy Protestants within Salem. Take pride in those in it and emulate their actions and maybe one day you to shall share the same prestige! Best wishes on your journey my friend.
V.
Q. What is this "Great One", "Great Ones", "Abadonic Bible", "Black Moon", "Mountain", and "Gate to Elysium's Void" you preach of?
Why my filthy Protestant that is a good question. These are the things of your salvation. Only filthy Protestants would not know of this! Oh' how expected of your illiterate selves. They shall be explained in good time my little fool. In good time. Now now, no need for spoilers.
VI.
Q. Please go back home.
A. Are there still Protestants here?
Q. Yes.
A. Then we must continue our work and stay with you filth. Feel gracious of our presence filthy Protestant.
Now that should have answered a many of your questions; the Protestants mostly that is as all Catholics know of these things obviously. Higher intelligence as we've proven time and time again. If the Protestants have any more questions feel free to ask them. We obviously do not have your lowly intelligence so we can not think on such an idiotic level. Maybe one day we'll let you read your very own Abadonic Bible. Maybe one day soon! Oh this must bring joy to your filthy heart you worthless heathens. Or maybe one day you'll be supporting your fellow Protestants via a humble meat pie. I bet you would like that. A fine fate indeed. As it has begun, Protestants.
§ To higher beings capable of altering the fliers on the town board. Please move all disruption and conversation, that you see fit, from the main A&A Trade Company flier here so we may continue to debate our lowly Protestant critics. We understand they are filthy, mouthy, and a many lack prestige but we wish to give them a place to debate us feverishly. Despite their lacking in their intellect.
Until future tidings Protestants,
Semper ardens.
To fellow Catholics,
Blessed you be with the Great One's light. Please come to our humble company once more.
