The Coles Report 28/12/2012~The Report has been taking a short break since there has been very little to report on lately, but due to constant prodding by the fan-bass we have decided to put out another issue while we wait for more action packed updates to develop. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In Gallows Hill vs. The MM Tribe news, Gallows still does not have a leg to stand on. The Chief and his braves are currently scouring the map in order to hunt down all of the refugees that were ever involved with the ex mega-village. Many people see this as a very lame tactic but it appears to be driven by the Chief and Staxjax's ongoing rivalry.The first found was JaXon himself along with the lovable Mushibag.viewtopic.php?f=6&t=3245#p35359jwhitehorn wrote:Merry Christmas Fine Squatters of Salem!
The day began when Chief PeePooKaKa went down to Boston to take KillerTomas to sit on Santa's Lap. The Chief was skeptical about this new tradition that came to his lands but Tomas insisted that they go. The Chief pondered what Tomas would ask for. A brave essentially has an unlimited supply of every material object in the game so what is it that Tomas wanted so badly that they make the long trip to Boston?
"Ho Ho Ho. And what would YOU like for X-mas little Brave" Exclaimed Santa.
"Well Santa, my good friend Chief PeePooKaKa is never home in our Tribal Lands anymore. I love to spar with my friends but lately all they ever do is search for the evil StaxHax and the Gallows Refugees" Said Tomas.
The Chief immediately became interested to see where this was going.
"Well you know little Brave. That doesn't mean that the other Braves don't love you just because they havn't sparred with you. That just means that they have work to do to keep you and Mommy Mereni safe" replied Santa
"Well, I know that Santa. But if there is ANY way you could actually help the Chief find Stax for Christmas I Would really appreciate it" Tomas concluded.
The Chief and Tomas then rode back to the Tribal lands. Nothing more was said about the trip but the Chief was once again proud of Tomas' sincerity. The entire morning quickly drifted from the Chief's mind.... Until a deer approached him with a shiny red nose. The Chief quickly followed it until he stumbled upon....
WHATS THIS?!?!?!? Could it be? A Christmas Miracle? The Tribe immediately began doing what the Tribe does.
But then it was realized that there was another claim next door! Mushibag 3.0 who was sworn to be "hermitting" since the Gallows debacle of 2012 was literally 15 feet away from StaxHax! In fact several GH Refugees were all found in the immediate area! An ambush was quickly set up.
And after a long long wait Mushibag finally logged on.
And so. A morning that started out with skepticism ended with disbelief. A true Christmas miracle for all involved. Well.... Maybe not all.
Chief PeePooKaKa
MM Tribe
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~The Chief has since put together a "peace treaty" for people to sign. The Treaty is an agreement that allows you to pay a monthly fee of half of your claim's total number to the tribe in silver (or items) in order to be safe from their raids for the entire month. Many people have taken him up on this offer and even yours truely has decided to throw some silver their way in order to avoid the inevitable naked raiders coming up over the horizon. Though this feels like a total ***** move, we here at the report feel that it is best to be safe in where we are currently situated rather than having to take time yet again to rebuild peasfooly in another location. This would only take time and quality away from these reports!viewtopic.php?f=6&t=3163#p34235
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~Blame PmP, a refugee camp that was taken over by the GH members has been completely lost due to the Chief and will never again see the light of day.With the Gallows Refugees once again on their Trail of Tears the MM Tribe felt it was time we wrapped up their loose ends for them.
R.I.P. Blame PMP. You had a good run. All 32 hours of it.
Chief PeePooKaKa
MM Tribe
~Gablak, the old owner of Blame PmP (Rattlesnake Cove (?)) returned to his old village in order to give the members a proper burial. JESUS-STYLE Y'ALL!I revisited the place and gave everyone a christian burial as they were all spread across town and fields..
Then I blocked the entrance to the crypt with a heavy rock so they will never walk among us again.
I would like to personally apologise to the old residents of this village. The fighting was very fun and had I known that things would end this way I would not have hit the murder key. We will have excellent spars in Salem heaven :'(
RIPNEVR4GETCRYEVERYTIEMThe cries of Reverend Coles could be heard throughout Plymouth the night of the murders, long after the others Salemites had logged out so as not to be known as a total puss."WHY?! WHY DID I TAKE THEIR LIVES?! WHY WAS IT SO EASY!?"He may never know why it was so easy, but the loss is and will always be unforgettable.
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~Here is a list of some topics that are currently being talked about in the Ideas and Suggestions Sub-forum. It's up to you to help the game grow and you should throw in a piece of your mind before something is changed!How would the community like the Devs to handle bug abuse?: viewtopic.php?f=12&t=3234In this thread we talk about bug abuse and how we all feel it should be fixed, people have varying opinions and there's even a L33LEE rant!Arena/boxing ring in capital cities: viewtopic.php?f=12&t=2553The idea of adding a fight arena to area like Boston where other players can spar safely and even place bets!------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
~Derek still continues to dominate the Screenshots of Salem Thread
While I continue to be at the cutting edge of modern fashion!
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~The Salem Fan-Art Thread has officially been made by the infamous LadyGoo!viewtopic.php?f=3&t=3213#p34912The Coles Report is very pleased with the way that this thread is turning out as it has provided Colesie with many new potential avatars, and a lot of fan mail.
Here are some of the posts that were made specifically for Colesie by Coles Report Super-Fans Ass_Kraken (DDDs) and Stingmoggie:
Jordan Coleswort.
***** yeah.
By Ass_KrakenHere you go sir, you can thank the dev team for giving me the time to make these while Roanoke is crashed for now
This is a limited edition, grab it while you still can
By StingmoggieI am very flattered by these photos and would like to put out the offer to feature any fan-art that you may have in the upcoming Coles Reports! (So long as they're in good taste)------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Very Merry Salem Christmas to Everyone from the Dev team, and the Coles Report! Though we may be scattered around the map at the moment, we will strive to bring you the best report the forums can offer in these hard times.viewtopic.php?f=2&t=3261#p35555Some people got lucky with their gifts,
THNX SANTAH !
Others "not" so much,painhertz wrote:i tried and tried for hours at a time and never got that damned stove set. lol no present 4 me.
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~The Fight Club is STILL running and Darno is still accepting challengers on Plymouthhttp://forum.salemgame.com/viewtopic.ph ... =60#p32289
Here is a list of some of the recent fights and their links------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
~The Salem Trailer contest is still up and running!
So far there have been a few entries into the contest already but more are always welcome!The contest will end on January 5th so be sure to throw something together before then!------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
~And of course we end the Report with this terrible idea submitted by none other than Darno.Add newspapers guy in every capital city, so newbies can buy paper and read about what is going on around them.
Newspapers can be written in-game by forum users that want to spread their news to whole community.
Thanks to that we can reach 99% server population with news about politics, battles, wars, fails etc etc.
THE COLES REPORT IS ALL YOU WILL EVER HAVE AND EVER WILL NEED. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Save up your hopes friendsJordan Coles
Squirrel Eating Pizza Tribe
by alloin » Tue Dec 18, 2012 1:28 pm 
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