ADD / ADHD is not real?

[Dallane]

Now I'm asking (if any of you had my same problem) what was your approach to the situation?

Bud I'm the kind of person who prefers to fly solo. I don't like going out and doing the social ****. I keep to myself alot.

Best way to beat it is to just do it. There IS something going on in your area. DO IT. See someone looking bored or awkward like you then go up and start a convo. Like my previous convo get involved with school. Go to a coffee shop or some sort of lunch place and see if you can join a table with someone for a drink or sandwich.

Get into online dating. Get a few street rats that you will never see again and start up a convo on a date. You prolly wont see them again so you don't have to worry too much. Maybe you will get some *****(or *****/ass if you are into that) out of it

It sucks at first by eventually you will learn how to interact with people and get comfortable with it.

[Dallane]

But I can't just going from socially akward to alpha male in one night.

Nope but by the fact that you are trying to improve yourself is going to make you a alpha male.

[Nektaris]

Thanks a lot man, those are kind words. You are the kind of person I'd like to have as a friend IRL.
I'm going to try this when I have the opportunity.

[Dallane]

Thanks a lot man, those are kind words. You are the kind of person I'd like to have as a friend IRL.
I'm going to try this when I have the opportunity.

You can do it man. Try not to worry about it. You will get better with interacting the more you do it.

[loftar]

Loftar, what exactly are your methods of focusing? I'm actually very curious.

Like with many of these things, I generally don't buy into any "formulaic methods" of achieving focus. It's more like walking or bicycling: you just put one foot before the other, or simply turn the pedals. In reality it's anything but that simple, but there's no way you can put the "method" into words because it's not something you do as a conscious procedure. You train over and over until your brain gets it.

That's not to say that I'm some kind of "focus master" to begin with, mind you.

However, if there's something I think is to be said more in general for academic studies and like things, I find that the less you know about a subject, the harder it is to focus on something about it. I find that precisely because I know very little about it, what I read simply finds no reference in my mind, and therefore bears little to no real meaning no matter how much I know what the words mean on the surface. When you read something that doesn't really "mean" anything in that way, there's no real information entering your mind and therefore nothing to focus on (no matter how much text you have in front of your eyes). You need to establish a metric before you can measure anything. I very much had this problem with subjects like history for my entire school period; it was only when I started to acquire various references otherwise that it started meaning anything. More references snowball together and thus make the subject richer and more meaningful. I don't have any concrete suggestions for bootstrapping the process, however.

[Thor]

Music helps me concentrate a lot.

[Nictos]

Loftar, what exactly are your methods of focusing? I'm actually very curious.

When you read something that doesn't really "mean" anything in that way, there's no real information entering your mind and therefore nothing to focus on (no matter how much text you have in front of your eyes). You need to establish a metric before you can measure anything. I very much had this problem with subjects like history for my entire school period; it was only when I started to acquire various references otherwise that it started meaning anything. More references snowball together and thus make the subject richer and more meaningful. I don't have any concrete suggestions for bootstrapping the process, however.

That is actually really sound advice I've never even thought about. Thanks a bunch.

[MagicManICT]

@Dallane I don't have problems in getting out more, the problem is interacting with others. Man, that's hard.

Its not that bad. You are a nurd so do some nurd things. Find a game shop where they play magic or warhammer and interact with people and learn a new game. Depending on the city there are loads of things to do to get out and interact with people.

Social anxieties have nothing to do with whether you're a nerd or not, but many end up being nerdy because the only thing you end up wanting to do is geek out in books, movies, games, etc. Even holding down a normal job can be a great strain.

Personally, I love going to football games, conventions, and other things, but I end up crashed for a week afterward because the stress levels were so high my body literally shuts down after that mental high. I quickly get lost in the crowd. The background murmur of all the voices becomes unbearable because my brain tries to focus on each voice. Thus, I rarely do these things because I can't afford that level of "pain." (I really don't know how else to put it, because it really does become physically painful after a while.)

@nowhere to go in Italy: I got to a few of the Magic Pro Tour stops back in the 90s. I met people from all over the world, and the common thing was was being involved in something that was hard to get a location to gather enough people for experience, but everyone had a place to go and had to search for it (assuming they weren't the one that owned the shop/location). I think the few people that didn't have to hunt down a place to play was those in very large cities: New York, LA, London, etc. Even then, the place to play could be 30-60 minutes away despite the huge numbers of people. (I am figuring in traffic, etc in there)

[Dallane]

@Dallane I don't have problems in getting out more, the problem is interacting with others. Man, that's hard.

Its not that bad. You are a nurd so do some nurd things. Find a game shop where they play magic or warhammer and interact with people and learn a new game. Depending on the city there are loads of things to do to get out and interact with people.

Social anxieties have nothing to do with whether you're a nerd or not, but many end up being nerdy because the only thing you end up wanting to do is geek out in books, movies, games, etc. Even holding down a normal job can be a great strain.

I made a assumption that he was playing salem and a classic case of basement nerd. Taking an nerd hobby to a group setting could slowly open doors or at least open a social circle up.

Nothing wrong with being a nurd. I'm a huge one.

[Darwoth]

ADD/ADHD (same ***** thing) is just a scapegoat diagnosis for loser parents that cannnot properly control their little bastard children with a boot up the ass and thus have them medicated into zombies instead, do "some" people have this?

certainly.

do MOST people that "have this" in fact, not?

yep.

how comical that this has only been a "thing" in the last 15 or so years, now it seems that every teenager has it

look around to most people that have kids, do they have a dog? does that dog grab food off the counter? ****/piss where it isn't supposed to? claw up the couch? if so those people have no business having children, and when they do (usually by accident because they themselves have no self control or discipline either) have one the little turd behaves much like the dog does.

so off to the junk doctor they go for a bottle of magic pills they can feed their kid before letting the TV and internet continue to raise them.

AND then 7 years later when the kid is all grown up you have a room full of people like the replies in this thread with no real world interaction skills, conflict resolution, assertiveness, confidence or backbone at all. BECAUSE they were raised by an electronic box instead of real people with real stimuli. soi they chalk it up to "damn maaan, i have this *insert ***** here* keeping me from doing/being what i want, let me pop another pill and live in a state of excuses for the rest of my life while it passes me by.