December 3rd
So today sucked. I didn't meet my quota of 200 mushroom pies last night because my parents said we had to have family night and go bowling, I hate stupid bowling. Anyway, Chief was super pissed and said I had to do my 7th real life quest to make up for it. I had to video giving Becky Anderson, a mean girl from school, a wedgie in the middle of home ec class. I got in major trouble and got suspended for two days. Two whole days!! Whatever...
Chief thought it was super funny though so I just have to make 150 Mushroom pies today. Yay! He said since I am suspended anyway I have to do step 43 on my vision quest to join the Tribe. I am so tired of this stupid quest. It has been like 2 months or something since I joined and I am still not done. But Chief keeps saying that he is the only reason that meanie Mushibag hasn't killed me yet and I better do what he says or quit playing Salem because he will make my life awful. I so want to fight that Mushi guy but Chief says if I can't even beat our best fighter Tomas in the daily duels then I stand no chance against meanie face and have to run away all the time. Whatever.... I can't play WoW anymore cause my parents cancelled my subscription so stupid vision quest it is I guess.
For step 43 tomorrow I have to go to Gallows Hills cut down 100 trees, chop them up, then split the logs into chippings and drop them on the ground. Booorrriinnng.... He says that will show them and that I have to do it because he is the ultimate griefer and knows how to really mess with people. I call it being mean but whatever.
My stupid parents are saying that since I got in trouble I might not get a Nintendo Wii for Christmas this year. Like comeon! By the time I get one it's gonna be like a dinosaur console. My neighbor Lance has one and he never lets me play it! God! Everyone is always mean. Sometimes I think all people just suck.
Chief thought it was super funny though so I just have to make 150 Mushroom pies today. Yay! He said since I am suspended anyway I have to do step 43 on my vision quest to join the Tribe. I am so tired of this stupid quest. It has been like 2 months or something since I joined and I am still not done. But Chief keeps saying that he is the only reason that meanie Mushibag hasn't killed me yet and I better do what he says or quit playing Salem because he will make my life awful. I so want to fight that Mushi guy but Chief says if I can't even beat our best fighter Tomas in the daily duels then I stand no chance against meanie face and have to run away all the time. Whatever.... I can't play WoW anymore cause my parents cancelled my subscription so stupid vision quest it is I guess.
For step 43 tomorrow I have to go to Gallows Hills cut down 100 trees, chop them up, then split the logs into chippings and drop them on the ground. Booorrriinnng.... He says that will show them and that I have to do it because he is the ultimate griefer and knows how to really mess with people. I call it being mean but whatever.
My stupid parents are saying that since I got in trouble I might not get a Nintendo Wii for Christmas this year. Like comeon! By the time I get one it's gonna be like a dinosaur console. My neighbor Lance has one and he never lets me play it! God! Everyone is always mean. Sometimes I think all people just suck.
December 16
Man what an awful week. Chief added 200 pumpkin pies to my 200 mush pie per day minimum. He said every 50 pies over my minimum I make he will add me in a screenshot so I can be as famous as him. He said I better be grateful that I am even allowed to live in the tribal lands that are protected by the Great Spirit. I am so tired of all this Indian crap. Nobody talks like a normal person in vent. My mom thinks I am joining a cult or something when she checks my room and overhears us talking. I am like hey guys why can't I light this oven. Chief is like well you obviously angered the Great Spirit and he has taken back the gift of fire that Mother Earth, much like Prometheus, stole from him. Whatever.... can't he just answer my question like a normal person?
One person he does answer properly is that Paul guy. God! Chief used to help me meet my timberpile quota sometimes. He sparred with me on occasion and all kinds of stuff. I thought we were friends. It has been hard making friends in school since Jeremy Newton (JERK) gave me a wedgie in PE class. Everyone picks on me and noone will sit with me at lunch now. I thought I had finally met someone that likes me...sigh. Now it's all like Paul did this, Paul did that, and I'm like hey Chief what's up, and he is like Rocky make more pies! Bigger sigh...
On top of all this crappiness step 53 on my stupid vision quest to join the Tribe is a real life quest. I have to take all my mom's socks and glue them to my naked body. I have to be covered with layers of the socks and then make a video of me running around my neighborhood screaming help I am being attacked by socks from another planet. Noone is safe!! Run for your lives! I think it is dumb but, as always, Chief thinks it is hilarious. When my mom finds out from the neighbors I'm gonna be grounded, again... She is probably gonna send me to see a pshchiast? psychist? Damnit.. a brain doctor.. God I hate my life right now!
One person he does answer properly is that Paul guy. God! Chief used to help me meet my timberpile quota sometimes. He sparred with me on occasion and all kinds of stuff. I thought we were friends. It has been hard making friends in school since Jeremy Newton (JERK) gave me a wedgie in PE class. Everyone picks on me and noone will sit with me at lunch now. I thought I had finally met someone that likes me...sigh. Now it's all like Paul did this, Paul did that, and I'm like hey Chief what's up, and he is like Rocky make more pies! Bigger sigh...
On top of all this crappiness step 53 on my stupid vision quest to join the Tribe is a real life quest. I have to take all my mom's socks and glue them to my naked body. I have to be covered with layers of the socks and then make a video of me running around my neighborhood screaming help I am being attacked by socks from another planet. Noone is safe!! Run for your lives! I think it is dumb but, as always, Chief thinks it is hilarious. When my mom finds out from the neighbors I'm gonna be grounded, again... She is probably gonna send me to see a pshchiast? psychist? Damnit.. a brain doctor.. God I hate my life right now!
June 27th
Ugh, summer is here and no school till the fall. That means Chief expects me to really buckle down and devote even more of my time to him. So I can look forward to a summer of torment followed by another year of everyone being mean to me at school. Ugh! Chief says the only way to get people to like me is to do whatever they say but I have done that for almost a whole year with him and he doesn't seem to like me any better. Whatever...
It feels like my vision quest is never going to be done. Since my last entry I have weaved a bracelet with my pubic hair and must wear it all times, for a week straight only answered people in riddles, which got me grounded and in two fights with Johnathan Taylor (BUTTHEAD), and made a video of me auditioning for the Chip and Dale dancers. Those are just the tip of the iceberg of what Chief Meanie-face has made me do. Other Braves have finished their quests already! But no, "Rocky your purity trees are behind schedule, 2 more months on your quest!". Sigh...
I am starting to worry that by the time I finish my vision quest this game will be dead. Chief said when it does die we are going to all move to Hello Kitty Online and troll all the teenage girls. I'm not very good at being mean, or talking, to girls though. I asked Mereni to help me learn but she just told me to grow a pair and then kept KO looping me for hours while she just giggled. Does life ever get better?
It feels like my vision quest is never going to be done. Since my last entry I have weaved a bracelet with my pubic hair and must wear it all times, for a week straight only answered people in riddles, which got me grounded and in two fights with Johnathan Taylor (BUTTHEAD), and made a video of me auditioning for the Chip and Dale dancers. Those are just the tip of the iceberg of what Chief Meanie-face has made me do. Other Braves have finished their quests already! But no, "Rocky your purity trees are behind schedule, 2 more months on your quest!". Sigh...
I am starting to worry that by the time I finish my vision quest this game will be dead. Chief said when it does die we are going to all move to Hello Kitty Online and troll all the teenage girls. I'm not very good at being mean, or talking, to girls though. I asked Mereni to help me learn but she just told me to grow a pair and then kept KO looping me for hours while she just giggled. Does life ever get better?
Rocky
Killer of bad interviewers
Oarsman on the Boston ferry
Ravager of Russians
Conqueror of Coles
Murderer of Mushibag
Deathdealer to Dallane
Butcherer of Bait
Hustlinguistic's hangman
Mayor of BTK Lives!!!
Champion runner
. That mushi guy, he should really be more sensitive to you, and the chief as well. I don't know why mushi acts the way he does but from what I heard in IRC it might be because he likes you and thinks you're the prettiest girl in all the lands.
