[WTS] Waspo's House of Curios

[alprice]

It's also a rare ingredient needed to make sealoaf. Good find!

[ElManisero]

Greetings Friends and Clever Clients;

You know I have my share of adventures in the wild, but yesterday the drama was in my very shoppe. I was chatting with a delightful lady about the merits of cooked crab, when a lunatic barged in and began speaking in tongues! Foaming at the mouth like a rabid dog, he ranted and raved at the poor woman until I picked up a broom and tossed him out on his ear. Fear not, good friends, for I was not harmed - but the minds of some people in Salem have surely come unraveled and it might very well be time to hire a locksmith for my hovel.

Naturally, this madman upset my poor client, but she was put at ease once more by the miraculous notes given off by my singing log. I imagine that without that log's sweet music, she would have been driven off - or worse - not bought anything! Perhaps I shan't sell the log after all...

But where was I? Ah yes, the map! Didn't I tell you? Several months ago, I purchased a chest from a sailor who was in dire need of silver to pay off a gambling debt he incurred at sea. (The moral of that story is to never play cards against the Captain) Short of coin, the sailor was willing to part with a waterlogged chest full of strange things, which are obviously the best things, right? I made the deal and brought the chest back to my shoppe, but I hadn't had the time to go through it until recently. A week ago, I found a curious map tucked deep in a tight sliver between two boards. I recognized a few twists and turns from my travels, and even though it was not well marked, I believe I know the area it depicts. Now that the dreary Salem Winter is over, I shall set out on my canoe to discover what mystery lies marked on the map.



I must admit, my dear friends, that this is a voyage fraught with danger. I could be headed into the den of an angry bear, or the wigwam of an Indian seductress. I could be swallowed by a whale, or trip on the stoop of my home and die on the door mat. But I fear only in God and dread naught. If Providence holds fast, I shall return in short order, richer than before and with another tale to tell.

Intrepidly Yours,
Waspo

[Kreek]

+1

[stevemac05]

Hi what is the highest purity rod you have?

[cannibalkirby]

What percent crabs do you have available for sale?

[neored9]

Fine seller of fine tastes.

[ElManisero]

Greetings Friends and Noble Clients;

As promised, your humble merchant Waspo set out for high adventure two nights ago after finding a strange map in a crate I had acquired. With my canoe and sense of curiosity, I followed the ragged parchment towards what I had hoped was a grand treasure. I spent the lion's share of a day paddling down a small creek, fog on the banks of each shore obscuring the dangers that surrounded me. There was a twist in the shape of a shepherd's crook, and from there the map directed me west. I walked until my feet ached, through swamp and thorn, through mud and muck. Just as the last amber light of day was dripping from the sky, I came to what was surely my destination - a cave. Covered in greenery, I peeled back the hair-like vines as if I was peering upon the long forgotten face of a grim maiden... did I dare to tread inside?

Of course I did! Who could pass up treasure?!

I took stock of what was around me and fashioned a makeshift torch. It wasn't much, but it illuminated a few feet in front of me and made it so that I could enter the cave... although, with some trepidation, to be sure. Inside was a dank mixture of musty air and stale smells. As I pressed deeper into the fetid pit, I could sense movement. The walls looked as if they were alive, writhing in the darkness. I tell you plainly, I could not bring myself to shine my torch upon the walls for fear of what I might see. Was I in a cave, or the grotesque mouth of some giant monster? My fear almost paralyzed me.

Step by mushy step I finally came to what looked like a ledge carved into the stone. There looked to be a body on the stone - an unfortunate man being offered to the Devil on a pagan altar perhaps? I drew closer and the body pulsed before me. Was it was breathing... or worse? I timidly shined my light upon it to reveal...

Snails!

Twas not a body at all, but a slithering mass of snails, so tangled that one could not discern where one sticky body from another. My fear turned to disgust as I held my torch to the walls and saw the cavern was entirely infested with gigantic Virginia snails. By God and the Holy Spirit, I mustered all my force and held back the bile that churned in my stomach. Standing there, in the squalid dark, I realized that any treasure that was once here had long since been carried off.

Oh how I longed for jewels - rubies as big as New England apples, or emeralds the size of baby bears! How I wished there was a mermaid for me at the end of that cave! But it is not my fate to deal in such fineries. No, I deal in the curious and surely this cave held something of value to my inquisitive clients. So, with heavy heart, I fit some of the larger specimens in my pockets and I dutifully rowed them back to my shoppe. If you have an iron stomach, and wish to brave the slimy stench, then you may well unravel the mysteries that these creatures hold.

Remember my fellow explorers, there is only one place where you may only gaze upon the colossi of the cave... Waspo's House of Curios!

Your gooey gatherer of the grand and grotesque,
Waspo

[Suffragium]

Greetings Friends and Noble Clients;

As promised, your humble merchant Waspo set out for high adventure two nights ago after finding a strange map in a crate I had acquired. With my canoe and sense of curiosity, I followed the ragged parchment towards what I had hoped was a grand treasure. I spent the lion's share of a day paddling down a small creek, fog on the banks of each shore obscuring the dangers that surrounded me. There was a twist in the shape of a shepherd's crook, and from there the map directed me west. I walked until my feet ached, through swamp and thorn, through mud and muck. Just as the last amber light of day was dripping from the sky, I came to what was surely my destination - a cave. Covered in greenery, I peeled back the hair-like vines as if I was peering upon the long forgotten face of a grim maiden... did I dare to tread inside?

Of course I did! Who could pass up treasure?!

I took stock of what was around me and fashioned a makeshift torch. It wasn't much, but it illuminated a few feet in front of me and made it so that I could enter the cave... although, with some trepidation, to be sure. Inside was a dank mixture of musty air and stale smells. As I pressed deeper into the fetid pit, I could sense movement. The walls looked as if they were alive, writhing in the darkness. I tell you plainly, I could not bring myself to shine my torch upon the walls for fear of what I might see. Was I in a cave, or the grotesque mouth of some giant monster? My fear almost paralyzed me.

Step by mushy step I finally came to what looked like a ledge carved into the stone. There looked to be a body on the stone - an unfortunate man being offered to the Devil on a pagan altar perhaps? I drew closer and the body pulsed before me. Was it was breathing... or worse? I timidly shined my light upon it to reveal...

Snails!

Twas not a body at all, but a slithering mass of snails, so tangled that one could not discern where one sticky body from another. My fear turned to disgust as I held my torch to the walls and saw the cavern was entirely infested with gigantic Virginia snails. By God and the Holy Spirit, I mustered all my force and held back the bile that churned in my stomach. Standing there, in the squalid dark, I realized that any treasure that was once here had long since been carried off.

Oh how I longed for jewels - rubies as big as New England apples, or emeralds the size of baby bears! How I wished there was a mermaid for me at the end of that cave! But it is not my fate to deal in such fineries. No, I deal in the curious and surely this cave held something of value to my inquisitive clients. So, with heavy heart, I fit some of the larger specimens in my pockets and I dutifully rowed them back to my shoppe. If you have an iron stomach, and wish to brave the slimy stench, then you may well unravel the mysteries that these creatures hold.

Remember my fellow explorers, there is only one place where you may only gaze upon the colossi of the cave... Waspo's House of Curios!

Your gooey gatherer of the grand and grotesque,
Waspo

Snails! The battle-hardened rebels of mine could surely make use of such delicacies. Ready a batch for me and I shall make my return at dusk.

[alprice]

For I Embie have been in search of this cave for many months but never found it. Alas a great explorer has found it. Please share your wealth and let me place an order for these grand snails.

[ElManisero]

No time for greetings friends, for violence has come to Salem!

It is my duty to warn the illustrious and noble pilgrims of Salem that they live in a dark and dangerous land! Last night I, your humble merchant Waspo, heard strange noises coming from the wood outside my shoppe. The noises are hard to describe, even now. Were they the cries of Earthen beast, or had something ethereal ventured into my neighboring wood? Fearing nothing but God, I took a torch and set out to discern the source of the alarming noise.

As I drew closer, I could tell it was not one, but a gathering of shadowy creatures. The noises would come together, then disperse - as if I had stumbled upon a coven of witches, screeching in the chilling night. My body quaked, and my bold nature almost abandoned me. But before my cowardice could command my body, I heard a terrible warble from behind me - it drew closer and it struck!

A sharp pain ran through my leg as a monstrous beast of the New World struck me with it's beak. It was fast - too fast for an old trader like myself! It darted in and out of the shadows as if it was born and reared in the darkness. One minute it was in front of me - the next it was but a noise circling my trembling heart. Oh how I longed to escape!

What happened next was a blur, but I awoke at dawn, back at my home. My pockets were empty, and my mind was blank. I could feel the cuts on my arms and legs, so I knew it was no dream. Surely, it was the divine will of God that I was spared death at the hands of those... turkeys. The squat spawns of Satan himself tried their best to defeat me, but I nonetheless awoke to the new day! But I warn you all - these woods are a dwelling for creatures strange and terrifying - venture into them only with great trepidation.

Indomitably yours,
Waspo