Open or Closed: We are open. Protestants please use the back door.
Good evening,
Protestants.
To fellow Catholics,
May peace be upon you and light shine your way. Welcome.
As allowed of the Great Pope Alexander the 7th we are allowed to trade with non-Catholics to achieve our goals within the new world. As permitted by the Abadonic Bible we will offer fair rates so we do not put ill on the Great One. No ill-feelings, for now, Protestants. Pray the Great Pope Alexander the 7th does not levy a tax upon your livelihoods to raise our prices; as we follow blindly least we burn in the depths of hell.
Let us begin.
Trader hearth secret:
I. Our Hearth Secret "Please burn all Protestants alive. Sincerely, the Catholic Church.".
As you can see this is very easy to write down and remember. Do not worry for the Post Master will take no offence; he is one of us and understands.
II. The best way to contact us is through private-messages.
III. We measure quality service by getting in touch with you within at least a week. Considering no response after a week that the creator of this trade flier to have been in an accident; or death.
Rules:
I. If you have proven to not be a filthy money garbing Protestant with a proven history we shall offer the goods first. If no such history exist you are expected to offer the goods first.
II. Special discounts apply to approved people only. Check the "Pope Approved" list to see if you apply for discounts. Do not request such as doing so shall be reverted to Board of Affairs No. III.
III. Preferably contact us via private messages through the person posting this charter. The Church & its associates do not reply to such messages; only the Trade Company spokesperson. You are not required to do so as this is only in place for your privacy.
IV. We do not take requests. hold items, or stock when convenient for you. Most of our time is spent working for the Great One.
We would like to sell or trade the following items.
Curiosities:
Pocket Watch - 75 silver pieces each.
Stock: 0
Cricket Violin - 50 silver pieces each.
Stock: 0
Colorful Autumn Leaf - 75 silver pieces each.
Stock: 0
Rainbow Scales - 30 silver pieces each.
Stock: 1
Brilliant Honey-Dew - 25 silver pieces each.
Stock: 0
Four-Leaf Clover - 75 silver pieces each.
Stock: 0
Agriculture:
Hay - 5 for 1 silver piece.
Stock: 0
Alcohol:
Bottle of Spring Ale, 1655 Edition - 35 silver pieces each.
Stock: 0
Company Message: Our brave Catholic sailors and ships have had no luck in bringing bottles of our fine reserves to the New World due to ill seas for the past twenty years. Ill times these are when we need to pray to the Great One who walks the Heavenly Earth named John Carter for we are to weak to do such a simple task; not even the filthy Protestants have been successful either. Pray to the Great Ones for we are insignificant in knowledge, amen.
Affairs & Notices:
A&A Board of Affairs:
I. We shall be updating to a point system in the future once we are more settled. Learn to use such a system as we will offer a limited guide on it.
II. Convert today to not burn in Hell as a Protestant. Simply being a Protestant spites the Great One.
III. Please report all Protestants who go door to door asking you to convert to their form of filth here. They shall be put to good use in the City of Dis.
IV. We are not associated with the other "Pope". We believe he has come from a Grand Wizard beckoning the moon to allow a future Pope to travel to our time. Truly it shows the power of the Great One blessed upon us in the future.
Pope Approved List:
I. The Great Pope Alexander the 7th.
II. Darwoth
III. TotalyMeow
IV. MarpTarpton
V. MagicManICT
VI. sabinati
VII. Dallane
Black Book Prices:
Until future tidings Protestants,
Semper ardens.
