The Almighty Jorb Sends Aid to New Roanoke

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The Almighty Jorb Sends Aid to New Roanoke

Postby Mushibag » Sun Nov 18, 2012 12:16 pm

Today the people of Plymouth server can breath a sigh of relief, as the fearsome Chief RunsLikeWind has been slain, as well as another one of his not-so-braves. The journey began with the Coles Crusaders™ gathering scents that the Chief so graciously left for us as breadcrumbs to find him at our leisure. We set out across the New World, in search of everyone's favorite newb slayer.

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After a long and arduous journey through treacherous swamps, forests, and mountainous terrain, we arrived at a village called New Roanoke. As we approached the village, we could see the Chief and his not-so-braves pillaging these poor pilgrims' claim as if Jorb himself had commanded it. Knowing that the Almighty Jorb would never command such a ruthless act, we had no choice but to defend these helpless innocents from the false prophet and his congregation of misinformed sheep.

As the Chief spotted us, we could almost hear the PeePooKaKa coming out of him. He instantly decided to live up to his name, Chief RunsLikeWind, and his not-so-braves followed suit. They split in multiple directions, like flies being chased away from a dung heap. Two of us went after the Chief, while the other two pursued the tribal scum known as Mean Mike McCoy (seen here listening to the ramblings of his false prophet).

http://forum.salemgame.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=2041

The Chief fled northward, while Mean Mike McCoy fled east. Hustlinguistics, utilizing his expert marksmanship, fires a shot into the Chief's back, and pursues him with an unmatched ferocity, that can only be explained by the touch of the hand of Jorb. With the breath of Moo blowing at his back, Hustlinguistics gained on the chief with every step, seeming to float, as if he were being carried through the air by Jorb himself.

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Meanwhile, the pursuit for Mean Mike McCoy was going equally as well, ending with a phlegmless indian, stunned by the powers of our ninja style leaping through the air. The time had come to send this indian to be judged by the Almighty Jorb and Loftar.

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The pursuit for the Chief was obviously longer, as he is well trained in the ways of retreat, as one can surmise from his true name Chief RunsLikeWind. He manages to split the two Crusaders chasing him, as one of his other one of his not-so-braves manages to pull one of the Crusaders away. Hustlinguistics, however, remained hot on his tail. As the end of the Chief's life drew near, Hustlinguistics said a little prayer, and sacrificed the Chief to the godly saint known as Oddgod.

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In the name of Jorb, the Coles Crusaders™ returned to the village of New Roanoke, and proceeded to put back all of the things the evil indians had removed from their claim. After having successfully saved the village of New Roanoke, we decided to take a much deserved break before heading home.

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Last edited by Mushibag on Mon Nov 19, 2012 12:21 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: The Almighty Jorb Sends Aid to New Roanoke

Postby Dallane » Sun Nov 18, 2012 12:20 pm

PRAISE HIM!
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Re: The Almighty Jorb Sends Aid to New Roanoke

Postby biomike » Sun Nov 18, 2012 12:25 pm

The hand of loftmighty is indeed upon us today.

"And He spake unto them through his prophet, 'Go, and make the blood of the heathers spill upon the barren soil of New Roanoke, so it shall hasten the day that my steeds will grace thy presence, and thy waters shall be blessed with the purity of the heavens.'" Jorb 7:19-20
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Re: The Almighty Jorb Sends Aid to New Roanoke

Postby Ornery » Sun Nov 18, 2012 12:31 pm

2v1 the Chief and a brave (who was that btw?) after that long chase was really good fun. He made the right call by running after the Chief took his ko, though. Don't feel bad for porting.
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Re: The Almighty Jorb Sends Aid to New Roanoke

Postby alloin » Sun Nov 18, 2012 1:50 pm

Ornery wrote:2v1 the Chief and a brave (who was that btw?) after that long chase was really good fun. He made the right call by running after the Chief took his ko, though. Don't feel bad for porting.

I don't think you got his main, never saw that name before ^^
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Re: The Almighty Jorb Sends Aid to New Roanoke

Postby Bait » Sun Nov 18, 2012 2:20 pm

alloin wrote:
Ornery wrote:2v1 the Chief and a brave (who was that btw?) after that long chase was really good fun. He made the right call by running after the Chief took his ko, though. Don't feel bad for porting.

I don't think you got his main, never saw that name before ^^


What name?

RunsLikeWind was given to him by us, because he's never stuck around to fight.

Where is the "Chief" to weigh in on all of this? You'd figure after all of his posting he'd have a few words about his own death...
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Re: The Almighty Jorb Sends Aid to New Roanoke

Postby Dallane » Sun Nov 18, 2012 2:21 pm

Bait wrote:Where is the "Chief" to weigh in on all of this? You'd figure after all of his posting he'd have a few words about his own death...


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Re: The Almighty Jorb Sends Aid to New Roanoke

Postby Mushibag » Sun Nov 18, 2012 2:23 pm

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So you can see his name... [pink for vagina]
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Re: The Almighty Jorb Sends Aid to New Roanoke

Postby staxjax » Sun Nov 18, 2012 2:27 pm

It was him, I used his scents from our base to track. 1 out of 2 wall bashers dead, and the other one is most likely rocky (aka, gregl/eulogy) since he was so proud of destroying the meat smoker that nobody noticed was missing.
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Re: The Almighty Jorb Sends Aid to New Roanoke

Postby Bait » Sun Nov 18, 2012 2:27 pm

Apparently Captain Planet is no match for Captain America...
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