It is I! Chief PeePooKaKa! First, let me apologize for my longer than usual Vision Quest. While it has never been my intention to leave you in your times of need even the Mighty Chief must consult with the Great Spirits from time to time and evaluate the paths that he chooses on his righteous journey of enlightenment. As such there will be some changes in the lands of Salem and I am excited to bring you this new content update so soon after the mighty Jorb and Lofter presented theirs:
*A bug in the comprehension of the term "White Man" has been addressed. All references to these inferior people will forever be known as "Filthy Squatters"
*Streamlined Forum Interfacing Modules. As such the Chief will not longer badger those who type in Green Text.
*All spawns of Troll Chiefs should be significantly diminished. Increased the spawn rates of Ranger Chiefs and Helpful Chiefs.
*Boston has been expanded to the west with "The Reservation". All are encouraged to travel there and check it out.
*Earthworms have been nerfed. Still overpowered but we will be monitoring their balancing closely.
*The Chief now wears a Cape. He looks better in it than you do. But you still look good too.
*The Chief has had his character remodeled (Birth Certificate) to provide longer showers for those ages 13-16 and painhertz.
Here is a screenshot of some of these updates.
We apologize for the delay in rolling out many of these updates but as many of you know we were very hard at work rolling out our Multi-Scalping support. Now that Multi-Scalping is operation you should see more frequent and regular content updates!
Now onto the Vision Quest. The journey was one of such greatness that I can only hope to convey just a fraction of how remarkable it was! As always it begun when I conversed with the local Filthy Squatters to spread cheer and joy. Being the people pleaser that I am I seriously contemplated satisfying the request but alas I felt the order in which I was asked to lick was reversed from the social norm so I declined.
Next, I decided to help those who have the thankless job of collecting Taxes. It was once said that a man is measured not by the things that he does for himself but by the things he does for others. Since the latest batch of Pills I ordered online failed to give me the 2" I was promised I decided maybe by helping the Tax collectors on their journey would give me the increased measurements I was looking for.
However, it wasn't working! The Chief was still just as empty inside as he was when he started his journey. Simply helping the Tax Collectors wasn't going to do it! If the Chief was going to find spiritual enlightenment he was going to need to try harder! He was going to need to help those less fortunate than himself! He was going to need to help.... DARWOTH! The Chief quickly traveled to meet Darwoth (IGN: Verrat) and his pet Turkey named Horrorhotel.
The Chief then broke down an entire base for Darwoth while he insured that his dinner did not get cold and Makestro went to gather the skill Waste.
The Chief pranced quickly to the forums. Sure that his good deeds would not go un-noticed! Surely the success of his Vision Quest would have traveled to the Great Spirits and he would be free to once again enlighten the Filhty Squatters of Salem! But alas...... He had more questing to do. He scratched his head... Who oh who is left on this server to help? He helped the noobs..... He helped the Tax Collectors.... He helped Darwoth..... Then it dawned on him! He must HELP THE RUSSIANS! With their climate and politics they needed the most help of all! However, it appears the language barrier stopped him dead in his tracks!
Then.... The wise words of the once fabled Ranger Bait rang through the Chief's mind.
"How many more crickets do you need for me to kill for you?" -- Bait
THATS IT! Perhaps the crickets are a metaphor for new players. And killing was a metaphor for building a reservation for these players to live on happily ever after! THANK YOU BAIT! You are so wise! And so it began..... The Reservation was created! A place for Filthy Squatters to live and learn the ways of Salem. A way for the MM Tribe to give back to the community in ways beyond that of any other faction!
Conclusion
Mark your calenders people. The good deeds of today shall echo for all eternity! For the first time In the lands of Salem.... Outside the comfort of Boston.... There now exists a peaceful city. A coalition of the willing and determined to provide the necessary skills to create employable and desirable members in the Society of Salem. Braves have been working around the clock holding seminars and classes teaching the basics of combat and crafting. Small prayer services are held where all members of the Reservation pause for a moment, face to the apple (north) and say a small prayer for the Saviors of Salem. Never before have so few done so much for so many. Let this Reservation represent the dreams of our people, the hope for a better world free of crime and tyranny. Free of Taxes and Trolling. One Salem, Under Chief PeePooKaka, With Liberty and Justice for all.
P.S. The Reservation is easily found on the southwest corner of Boston but for those new to the game just add Homestead Secret (bfs). The acronym for both bestfriends and Bureau of Filthy Squatters.
Chief PeePooKaKa
MM Tribe
