guide to gluttony

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Re: guide to gluttony

Postby shrunkin » Tue Oct 30, 2012 5:44 pm

im trying im open to ideas and if anyone has better ideas i will gladely edit it and put it in there this is rough its only what i did
Face Forward, Sen
You should be able to hear it now.
That which blocks your ears is worthless fear.
The enemy is one, you are one.
What is there to fear?
Cast off your fear!
Look forward!
Go forward!
Retreat and you will age.
Hesitate and you will die.
shrunkin
 
Posts: 51
Joined: Wed Sep 05, 2012 4:25 am

Re: guide to gluttony

Postby Sevenless » Tue Oct 30, 2012 6:17 pm

Keep up the good work. I appreciate your effort at helping out others, and with hard work I'm sure you can write an awesome guide :) Here's my feedback:


Most of your problems have to do with presentation, but a couple have to do with the information presented. Here's an example of your current work:

"Blood- Blood is simple many meat products give you blood Windy poo,Bluebary,A side of venison, Plank steak, Papricharred charchuterie etc. My main blood gluttony is mushroom pies. They are great for both yellow bile and blood,and a way to raise it up quick,plus they dont cost an arm and a leg to make. The problem is raising the stats that you want off the food you are using,cause most food may give 20 to blood,but they also may raise 25 to yellow bile or 25 to black bile. So make sure you are watching your bars.."


Now, let me play with forum functions and clear it up a bit :)

~~~
Blood

Blood is simple many meat products give you blood:

Windy poo
Bluebary
A side of venison
Plank steak
Papricharred charchuterie
etc

My main blood gluttony is mushroom pie. They are great for both yellow bile and blood,and a way to raise it up quick,plus they dont cost an arm and a leg to make. The problem is raising the stats that you want off the food you are using,cause most food may give 20 to blood,but they also may raise 25 to yellow bile or 25 to black bile. So make sure you are watching your bars..


~~~

The changes are small, but it really adds to the legibility of what you wrote. This is probably what people were expecting when they mentioned making it more legible. If we wanted to take it a step further, lets correct the sentence structure, punctuation and a couple spelling mistakes.

~~~

Blood

Blood is simple! Many meat products give you blood:

Windy Pooh
Bluebeary
A Side of Venison
Plank Steak
Papricharred Charcuterie
etc

My main blood gluttony is mushroom pies. They are great for both yellow bile and blood, and a way to raise it up quick. Plus they don't cost an arm and a leg to make. The problem is raising the stats that you want off the food you are using. Mushroom Pies may give 20 to blood, but they also may raise you to 25 yellow bile. So make sure you are watching your bars.


~~~

This next step is one most people (myself included) don't tend to take. Adding proper wiki links for everything you're discussing and adding colours/images where appropriate (making sure they don't cause your eyes to bleed of course).

~~~

Blood

Blood is simple! Many meat products give you blood:

Windy Pooh
Bluebeary
A Side of Venison
Plank Steak
Papricharred Charcuterie
etc

My main blood gluttony however is Image mushroom pie. They are great for both yellow bile and blood, and a way to raise it up quick. Plus they don't cost an arm and a leg to make. The problem is raising the stats that you want off the food you are using. Mushroom pies may give 20 to blood, but they also may raise you to 25 yellow bile. So make sure you are watching your bars.

~~~

Ok so that's some examples of what you can do. If you quote my post it'll show you the code on how I'm doing all this, but it's all in the full editor along the top. The other issue with your post is developement. You mentioned walk on a wild side is difficult for beginners to get, but all your blood foods are up there as mid game food resources, needing steaks or flour. A lot depends on who your target audience is, but if we're talking 5->20 for stats that's mostly going to be noobs. Berry on a Straw are an amazing and stable blood food that any noob can produce. So think back to what's easy to make as a beginner, not what's easy for someone to make in a village or after a month.

Second problem is you don't discuss what I call "reliability" too much. Pumpkin pies almost exclusively give phlegm, but mushroom pies give a split of blood/yb at low purity. It's worth getting into the concept of "secondary foods" to increase the reliability of mushroom pies. For example, mixing mushroom pies with berry on a straw can give you both variety, and make sure your result is much more accurately blood. Whether or not a food works isn't as important for this guide so much as how well they can work.


Anyway, that's all I've got for now. I'm not trying to write your guide for you, or steal your thunder. Hopefully you can use what I've given here and make an awesome guide out of this :)
It's been neat to see the evolution of a game. Salem has come so far, and still has far to go. Although frustrating, I think it's been an experience worth the effort.
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Sevenless
 
Posts: 1727
Joined: Wed Aug 01, 2012 1:57 am

Re: guide to gluttony

Postby shrunkin » Wed Oct 31, 2012 12:57 am

thank you sevenless i really appreciate the tips and the way you came about telling me my mistakes i will continue to work on this guide :)
Face Forward, Sen
You should be able to hear it now.
That which blocks your ears is worthless fear.
The enemy is one, you are one.
What is there to fear?
Cast off your fear!
Look forward!
Go forward!
Retreat and you will age.
Hesitate and you will die.
shrunkin
 
Posts: 51
Joined: Wed Sep 05, 2012 4:25 am

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