I'm writing a book and I could use some input

[Champie]

edit to add: I have asked for this thread to be locked. The poor execution of my parody failed to deliver the intended message to the Salem community.

I've been working on a new novel but I have never written a novel before I tried to finish writing short stories I had great ideas but shorties are lame and if I write a novel that would be really cool. I do have a new notebook and a lot of great one-liners I think I can make characters say to other characters, or maybe even directly to the reader. I don't know exactly what I want to do, but I have read other things and I think if I could just get someone to help me out with a few paragraphs I could turn it into something awesome with all the one-liners I know I could use. I am too embarrassed to share any of my one-liners with you now but I think that if I could just get started somehow I could make it really cool for people to read and have a good time maybe even make a series or a trilogy I am not sure yet. I think you can see that I could do something awesome if I could just get started so please contribute a paragraph and I will tear that **** up and make it rock your world! You know me by now so you know that I can do this because I am really determined to make this work and be a big success. If this all works out we can be partners or something, whatever, I'm not a business guy, I just like to be cool about things and give people the credit they deserve I am not greedy I just want to write this awesome book. I want to call my main character MushMouth, but I don't know that sounds kinda stupid but I like it because it makes people say huh waz dat name all about?!?!? Tell me what you think!!!!!!!!! maybe if you have a story that you dont want I could buy it from you and you could help me make it as great as something I would write or maybe something else, but anyway you know I can do this and if you arent using your story I can make it be a novel the way I always dreamed!!

[Suffragium]

what

[Champie]

what

lol, exactly. Ask that same question again while you are reading the thread in announcements posted by the fictional character named MushMouth created by jorb

Also, where is the paragraph I asked for *****, this book aint gonna write itself!

[Champie]

why no love from everyone to help me with my new book that could be awesome if I could just get started by you giving me some ideas that I can make into a really awesome story that could be made into a movie someday since I have a camera and I can download all that video editing **** from bit torrent no problem than I can do anything. My friend made some funny videos of his girlfriend passed out on the toilet and that **** was awesome, we can make something better even from my book. best way to really get this going is to have a google hangout where we can talk about all this stuff but also see each other so we all know we are erious and ready to make this awesome book. I dont want to jump ahead to much about the movie, but it can be done really Ihave all the stuff I just need you guys to give me some good stuff to start and we can make this great all by ourselves together!!!!

[Champie]

ok, I have a few ideas that I think will really get us started on this book, I just need an opening line then I can do it. Where are all the really smart people who know books and stuff and can make a killer first line. I dont like Once Upon a time type stuff but if its really good, like once upon time in a really dark and lonely place....you know something that gets people really interestted right away instead of having to wait 10 or 20 pages which they probably never get to because its hard to read a lot of stuff that doesnt seem import. It has to start good right away at the beginning and then it can be awesome.

[neored9]

Kill yourself so I can be internet famous.

Please do not joke about or encourage suicide. As per the 'no real life threats' rule, and basic decency, I won't allow it. You get a verbal warning this time, but there will be a ban in your future if you continue.

TotalyMeow

And that's a ban for 1 day. Editing out a moderator's comments counts as impersonation of a moderator.

TotalyMeow

[Champie]

Kill yourself so I can be internet famous.

oh, you are the first and so far the best of all the help I could want!!! I know that if I use your great line that I could write 2 or 3 paragraphs single spaced even!!! that will really make people talk about the book like I want then to so I can be well known and famous but still cool in that laid back chillaxin kind of way that makes me approachable but also seem like I am serious about stuff in my head!!! That's what will make MushMouth, the fictional character created by me, seem really edgy and maybe kill himself because some pip-squeek turd really makes him mad so much that he wants to kill himself!!!

You are awesome! I will write your name down now so I dont forget and give you mad props on the inside cover, or in bold italics on the back if there is the budget for that

[Champie]

Kill yourself so I can be internet famous.

Please do not joke about or encourage suicide. As per the 'no real life threats' rule, and basic decency, I won't allow it. You get a verbal warning this time, but there will be a ban in your future if you continue.

TotalyMeow

WTF, neored is helping me make an wesome book I did not report him for giving me a great idea. I cant believe that moderators are so stupid that they think I would kill myself because a good person whoo came into my thread to help gave me a great Idea that I cna use. I would never kill myself when I have so much potential and am very excited about making a really awesome book. It would be bad if I had to make another character for my book right now becuse I really need to focus on my best character the fictional character MushMouth created by me. But when I am ready I can make another and this one can be a grumpy person who thinks everyone is special and fragile but he goes around cruching good ideas and interesting talk between characters who are in the book that I am writing to be awesome, so having that stupid character in my would maybe make people mad and stop after like 10 pages, just like they do when the beginning is stupid and gets boring in a bad book but not the way I am going to write it even if Ihave to have that stupid grumpy person who always crushes fun or intersting sstuff that make everyone really have and like the book.

I dont know, I have to focus on the fictional character MushMouth created by me fiorst

[TotalyMeow]

I didn't warn him because I thought you would listen. I'm simply trying to discourage some of the toxicity that has characterized these forums for some time now.

If you're going to add a character based on me to your book, please make her female. Thank you.

[Cheena]

Would you marry me, new community manager ? <3

edit : oh ****, no RL threat... nvm