Salem for Nerds Proves The Earth is Round Part 1 of 2
Posted: Wed Dec 30, 2020 8:03 pm
Salem for Nerds Proves The Earth is Round part 1 of 2
I’d venture a guess that the Salem Round Earth Society, Or SRES, needs no introduction. Moderators have done a fantastic job of deleting their posts as they pop up but who here hasn’t had one of their posts derailed by SRES into an argument over whether the devs coded Salem to be flat or not?
Or who hasn’t hasn’t been recommended one of their many YouTube videos which always seems to just be someone’s weird uncle rambling semi-incoherently about round Salem in the front seat of his truck, out of earshot of his wife, for 45 minutes?
And like you, I’ve always written off their arguments as misguided pseudo-science at best. I mean what developer in their right mind would actually spend the countless hours to code mechanics simulating a round earth for a game that takes place on less than 1% of it’s surface? SRES’s response has always been the same, “Salem has never had normal devs.”
Hi I’m Nye Billson, host of Salem for Nerds, and in today’s episode we prove that Salem is in fact is round.
I know what you are thinking, you’re thinking that I’m crazy, that I can’t possibly taking the SRES’s argument’s seriously. Well everyone but Marp, we all know what that horny devil is thinking right now.
To the rest of you tho, I applaud you being skeptical. Fellow nerds and scientists alike I say being skeptical is a skill to be proud of. Big claims require big proof. But like a partner telling you that “he’s just a friend from work” the proof is there, you just have to be brave enough to look.
To start I need to explain Angle of Insolation. The quick and dirty explanation is that light shining on a round surface will hit that surface at different angles. Light hits the earth most direct near the equator and least directly near the poles.
Author’s Note: I made this gif to explain the concept better, but for budgetary reasons my editor removed the animation so you’ll have to use your imaginations a little.
Editor’s Note: No, you stole this image from online somewhere and just drew “motion” lines on it.
“That’s all well and good but how can you check for angle of incidence in a game that doesn’t even have a sun?” You might ask, or if you’re Becky, “Why were you checking my phone while I was in the shower?” The answer you both is science.
Let’s take a look at the implications of the Angle of Insolation. For the equator, being hit with more direct light means there is more heat energy over a smaller area meaning it’s hotter, whereas the poles are the opposite, less direct light means less heat energy and that means it’s colder.
In fact looking at this graph of average yearly temperature by latitude you can see that between 16 degrees and 90 degrees the temperature falls relatively linearly. Keep in mind of course temperature is a fickle mistress, she’ll get you into some weird stuff and leave you for some guy at work and now you have to find a way to mention as casually as possible during every match.com date that you can only get hard when someone puts their feet in your mouth.
Editors Note: I believe what the author is *trying* to say here is that temperature is not fixed and can vary quite a lot so certain assumptions and simplifications have been made to keep this episode a reasonable length.
Because Angle of Insolation affects the planet latitudinally, NOT longitudinally, in order to prove Salem is round we need to verify two assumptions: 1 that temperature decreases relatively linearly as we head north. The second is that temperature stays essentially constant east to west. If we find anything different than that we have only proved temperature is a mess, simply a self-harm mechanism solely meant to drive away potential new players, not the brilliant code work of a mad genius devoted to bringing us an earthly realism not seen in any other mmorpgs that we hope it is.
To prove our assumptions Salem for Nerds sent a team of scientists to Providence.
Materials Needed:
1x Canoe
1x Coldsnap
1x As many clothing combinations of thermal as possible.
10x Liters of Meat broth.
Like 130x Silver Pieces
The first part of the experiment is relatively simple. Sail north from Providence wearing the lowest possible thermal rating to avoid hypothermia. If the first assumption is correct hypothermia should set in as soon as the temperature drops a degree. When that happens I will change my clothes to be a single thermal value higher, drink meat broth to reset my body temperature, and then continue sailing north until it happens again. Repeat until the pattern has been discovered or the assumption dis-proven.
The second half is even simpler - as there exist 3x fast travel ports, Providence, Limer’s Front, and Isle of Nod, all on the same latitude I can wear the minimum thermal rating to avoid hypothermia in Providence and travel to the other ports to see if the same thermal rating is enough there.
Temperature falls linearly as we get closer to the north pole:
Temperature remains the same along and east - west parallel:
With our results in hand we reached out to the mods for comment:
John Carver:
Marp:
Meow:
With a round Salem proved any reasonable scientist would stop here. But like a developer contemplating whether or not to code solar incidence into a survival farming game, or a man drunk texting his ex girlfriend in the middle of the night, simply knowing its a waste of time won’t be enough to stop you. What I’m saying is that we can take this a step farther, one step closer to understanding JC’s so called “Round Earth Madness.” Also, Becky, if you’re reading this, DID YUO EVERLVOE ME?! oR WAS IT ALL JuST AaLIE?!!!
Stay tuned for next week’s episode of Salem for Nerds, where we use the data we collected here to calculate the size of the of the planet Salem is on!
Editor’s Note: After the original airing of this episode this thread was bombarded with very rude and condescending posts from the SRES account. Although Salem for Nerds supports free speech, due to the sheer number, and graphic nature, of the posts moderator Dallane was asked to step in. We were later informed that because of an escalation that happened behind the scenes, the SRES account has since been banned and removed from the forum entirely. Remember fellow nerds, it is not alway enough to be right, as scientists we also have to prove we are correct for the right reasons.
I’d venture a guess that the Salem Round Earth Society, Or SRES, needs no introduction. Moderators have done a fantastic job of deleting their posts as they pop up but who here hasn’t had one of their posts derailed by SRES into an argument over whether the devs coded Salem to be flat or not?
Or who hasn’t hasn’t been recommended one of their many YouTube videos which always seems to just be someone’s weird uncle rambling semi-incoherently about round Salem in the front seat of his truck, out of earshot of his wife, for 45 minutes?
And like you, I’ve always written off their arguments as misguided pseudo-science at best. I mean what developer in their right mind would actually spend the countless hours to code mechanics simulating a round earth for a game that takes place on less than 1% of it’s surface? SRES’s response has always been the same, “Salem has never had normal devs.”
Hi I’m Nye Billson, host of Salem for Nerds, and in today’s episode we prove that Salem is in fact is round.
I know what you are thinking, you’re thinking that I’m crazy, that I can’t possibly taking the SRES’s argument’s seriously. Well everyone but Marp, we all know what that horny devil is thinking right now.
To the rest of you tho, I applaud you being skeptical. Fellow nerds and scientists alike I say being skeptical is a skill to be proud of. Big claims require big proof. But like a partner telling you that “he’s just a friend from work” the proof is there, you just have to be brave enough to look.
To start I need to explain Angle of Insolation. The quick and dirty explanation is that light shining on a round surface will hit that surface at different angles. Light hits the earth most direct near the equator and least directly near the poles.
Author’s Note: I made this gif to explain the concept better, but for budgetary reasons my editor removed the animation so you’ll have to use your imaginations a little.
Editor’s Note: No, you stole this image from online somewhere and just drew “motion” lines on it.
“That’s all well and good but how can you check for angle of incidence in a game that doesn’t even have a sun?” You might ask, or if you’re Becky, “Why were you checking my phone while I was in the shower?” The answer you both is science.
Let’s take a look at the implications of the Angle of Insolation. For the equator, being hit with more direct light means there is more heat energy over a smaller area meaning it’s hotter, whereas the poles are the opposite, less direct light means less heat energy and that means it’s colder.
In fact looking at this graph of average yearly temperature by latitude you can see that between 16 degrees and 90 degrees the temperature falls relatively linearly. Keep in mind of course temperature is a fickle mistress, she’ll get you into some weird stuff and leave you for some guy at work and now you have to find a way to mention as casually as possible during every match.com date that you can only get hard when someone puts their feet in your mouth.
Editors Note: I believe what the author is *trying* to say here is that temperature is not fixed and can vary quite a lot so certain assumptions and simplifications have been made to keep this episode a reasonable length.
Because Angle of Insolation affects the planet latitudinally, NOT longitudinally, in order to prove Salem is round we need to verify two assumptions: 1 that temperature decreases relatively linearly as we head north. The second is that temperature stays essentially constant east to west. If we find anything different than that we have only proved temperature is a mess, simply a self-harm mechanism solely meant to drive away potential new players, not the brilliant code work of a mad genius devoted to bringing us an earthly realism not seen in any other mmorpgs that we hope it is.
To prove our assumptions Salem for Nerds sent a team of scientists to Providence.
Materials Needed:
1x Canoe
1x Coldsnap
1x As many clothing combinations of thermal as possible.
10x Liters of Meat broth.
Like 130x Silver Pieces
The first part of the experiment is relatively simple. Sail north from Providence wearing the lowest possible thermal rating to avoid hypothermia. If the first assumption is correct hypothermia should set in as soon as the temperature drops a degree. When that happens I will change my clothes to be a single thermal value higher, drink meat broth to reset my body temperature, and then continue sailing north until it happens again. Repeat until the pattern has been discovered or the assumption dis-proven.
The second half is even simpler - as there exist 3x fast travel ports, Providence, Limer’s Front, and Isle of Nod, all on the same latitude I can wear the minimum thermal rating to avoid hypothermia in Providence and travel to the other ports to see if the same thermal rating is enough there.
Temperature falls linearly as we get closer to the north pole:
Temperature remains the same along and east - west parallel:
With our results in hand we reached out to the mods for comment:
John Carver:
Marp:
Meow:
With a round Salem proved any reasonable scientist would stop here. But like a developer contemplating whether or not to code solar incidence into a survival farming game, or a man drunk texting his ex girlfriend in the middle of the night, simply knowing its a waste of time won’t be enough to stop you. What I’m saying is that we can take this a step farther, one step closer to understanding JC’s so called “Round Earth Madness.” Also, Becky, if you’re reading this, DID YUO EVERLVOE ME?! oR WAS IT ALL JuST AaLIE?!!!
Stay tuned for next week’s episode of Salem for Nerds, where we use the data we collected here to calculate the size of the of the planet Salem is on!
Editor’s Note: After the original airing of this episode this thread was bombarded with very rude and condescending posts from the SRES account. Although Salem for Nerds supports free speech, due to the sheer number, and graphic nature, of the posts moderator Dallane was asked to step in. We were later informed that because of an escalation that happened behind the scenes, the SRES account has since been banned and removed from the forum entirely. Remember fellow nerds, it is not alway enough to be right, as scientists we also have to prove we are correct for the right reasons.