Who is the true pvp god in salem?

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Who is the true pvp god in salem?

Darwoth
51
64%
Kuku
7
9%
Valten21
22
28%
 
Total votes : 80

Re: Who is the true pvp god in salem?

Postby Hose » Wed Aug 02, 2017 1:29 am

DARWOTH IS PRO!!!
My dog walks me to the park and doggy styles me, if you find that weird you're an arrogant gender-assuming bloodthirsty gun-loving cisgender bestial sexist incestuous white-previlege misogynistic biased raped privileged Nazi slave owner terrorist lesbian.
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Re: Who is the true pvp god in salem?

Postby Darwoth » Wed Aug 02, 2017 7:37 am

gorniksam wrote:Lets fight 1vs1 in Docks Event about that title


well i offered you that for the primus of the grand darwothian gladiatorial games and you just ignored me. now in order to regain my favor and attention it is slightly more complicated. you must now request my attention by writing a book called "an appeal to the snake king". it will say......

Darwoth: the righteous and the wrathful, the master of the universe.

Darworth: son of plymouth, lord of jamestown, contender of roanoke,

Darwat: king of providence, devourer of popham, god of warlocks, bringer of livestock, bringer of the bloody moon

Darwothageddon: conductor of chaos and primordial force of nature.

i, kuku hail to thee my superior in all things, in desperate search of your instruction so that i may become more like you.

i, kuku wish to learn the wisdom of your art by sacrificing my false pride to swift defeat at your noble and righteous hands, hands rippling with pixelated strength and skill that has never and shall never be matched by any other internet warrior. i humbly call out to ye oh supreme darwoth pvp god of salem so that i may beg your instruction and learn from your well of endless tactics, please teach me and indeed all of us mere kukortals a better path. the path to individual glory instead of collective irrelevance"

once this book sells 333 copies on the book vendor you will then place a copy of this book in a basket with 3 candles that have 3 charges left and carry it to the magical volcano (from where it is rumored the legendary darwoth was born into the world of providence) every day for seven days.

and then EACH day after you place your devotional darwoth offering upon the sacred soil of the volcano of darwoth you must then watch this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETTsJggQl3I

if you follow the above ritual properly you may incite a response from the pvp god of salem.

edit: forgot that i also ate popham, thus another title was added
Last edited by Darwoth on Wed Aug 02, 2017 10:19 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Who is the true pvp god in salem?

Postby Lihz » Wed Aug 02, 2017 7:51 am

Darwoth wrote:
gorniksam wrote:Lets fight 1vs1 in Docks Event about that title


well i offered you that for the primus of the grand darwothian gladiatorial games and you just ignored me. now in order to regain my favor and attention it is slightly more complicated. you must now request my attention by writing a book called "an appeal to the snake king". it will say......

Darwoth: the righteous and the wrathful, the master of the universe.

Darworth: son of plymouth, lord of jamestown, contender of roanoke,

Darwat: king of providence, god of warlocks, bringer of livestock, bringer of the bloody moon

Darwothageddon: conductor of chaos and primordial force of nature.

i, kuku hail to thee my superior in all things, in desperate search of your instruction so that i may become more like you.

i, kuku wish to learn the wisdom of your art by sacrificing my false pride to swift defeat at your noble and righteous hands, hands rippling with pixelated strength and skill that has never and shall never be matched by any other internet warrior. i humbly call out to ye oh supreme darwoth pvp god of salem so that i may beg your instruction and learn from your well of endless tactics, please teach me and indeed all of us mere kukortals a better path. the path to individual glory instead of collective irrelevance"

once this book sells 333 copies on the book vendor you will then place a copy of this book in a basket with 3 candles that have 3 charges left and carry it to the magical volcano (from where it is rumored the legendary darwoth was born into the world of providence) every day for seven days.

and then EACH day after you place your devotional darwoth offering upon the sacred soil of the volcano of darwoth you must then watch this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETTsJggQl3I

if you follow the above ritual properly you may incite a response from the pvp god of salem.


Was it to much trouble just writing "No, i'm scared"?
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Re: Who is the true pvp god in salem?

Postby Darwoth » Wed Aug 02, 2017 7:56 am

Lihz wrote:Was it to much trouble just writing "No, i'm scared"?


no it is quite easy to write a lie just analyze a typical kzerg post, instead of doing that i illuminated how to ascend the flight of stairs for a second chance after rejecting my first offer that had no further conditions.
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Re: Who is the true pvp god in salem?

Postby MaxPlanck » Wed Aug 02, 2017 7:57 am

Yeah, a guy who clearly told Kuku to 1v1 him at his event and kuku refused cause "she isn't scared" now makes Darwoth scared for refusing to 1v1 her now that she wants to all of a sudden.
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Re: Who is the true pvp god in salem?

Postby Dallane » Wed Aug 02, 2017 8:04 am

Lihz wrote:Was it to much trouble just writing "No, i'm scared"?


Oh look someone posting who has no idea wtf is going on!
Please click this link for a better salem forum experience

TotalyMeow wrote: Claeyt's perspective of Salem and what it's about is very different from the devs and in many cases is completely the opposite of what we believe.
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Re: Who is the true pvp god in salem?

Postby Darwoth » Wed Aug 02, 2017 9:05 am

i am 1000% willing to give kuku the honor of being beaten like a rented mule by yours truly, however since she first rebuked my offer and has shamed herself by associating with an army of oinking forum piglets she must now in turn cast the above t7 witch spell to purify herself in order to be worthy of summoning the darwoth.

it is pretty easy to make lots of books pretty quick, just ask dallane!
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Re: Who is the true pvp god in salem?

Postby Dallane » Wed Aug 02, 2017 9:07 am

Darwoth wrote:it is pretty easy to make lots of books pretty quick, just ask dallane!


lmao alloin was so freaking mad at us pumping out his naughty book.
Please click this link for a better salem forum experience

TotalyMeow wrote: Claeyt's perspective of Salem and what it's about is very different from the devs and in many cases is completely the opposite of what we believe.
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Re: Who is the true pvp god in salem?

Postby Darwoth » Wed Aug 02, 2017 9:10 am

:lol: :lol: :lol:

"the hole of silence" JC locked him in to make those other books is still there to i think =P
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Re: Who is the true pvp god in salem?

Postby Hose » Wed Aug 02, 2017 1:52 pm

Hail Darwat: king of providence, devourer of popham, god of warlocks, bringer of livestock, bringer of the bloody moon. Thou shall take my "power" to defeat the evil mana sucking witch called kuku who feasts on other mens precious grinded mana for over a decade now.
My dog walks me to the park and doggy styles me, if you find that weird you're an arrogant gender-assuming bloodthirsty gun-loving cisgender bestial sexist incestuous white-previlege misogynistic biased raped privileged Nazi slave owner terrorist lesbian.
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