Cultural Corner Lesson #1 (Earthworms)

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Cultural Corner Lesson #1 (Earthworms)

Postby jwhitehorn » Sun Oct 21, 2012 11:13 pm

Greetings Fine Pilgrims of Salem,
I am sure many of you are confused to see my presence in this ghetto that you refer to as the "city upon a hill" but I can assure you that my intentions are pure. It occurred to me that just as the missionaries brought christianity to the uncivilized corners of the globe, It shall be my responsibility to bring the cultural and spiritual awareness of my Tribe to all corners of the Forums.

In my Tribe we have a saying:
"Give a man a fish, and you shall feed him for a day. But Teach a man to fish and he shall be confused on WTF "think of England" has to do with fishing"

Loosely translated into the words of the White Man this simply means that it is better you take my words for the day as fact and nourish your brain with my wisdom than for you to try to figure things out for youself which are clearly beyond your intellectual capabilities. So with that established we will begin our first teachings so that one day we may finally bridge our cultural differences and you may fully embrace the truths of our culture and abandon the foolishness of yours.

Lesson #1

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The Mighty Earthworm! Look at him in all his majesty! The Earthworm is a creature with the longest and deepest history amongst our people. As you all know the Natives of Salem emerged from a giant Apple which fell from the sky in 1669 (The year the earth was created). What many do not know is that inside this apple Mother Nature had given our people all that we needed to thrive in our new home. All the wisdom and all the teachings we would ever need could be learned by the lone creature strong and brave enough to live the apple itself.

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And so it was that our people began to learn the ways of the Earthworm and so many things you see today are a result of this mighty creature.

Just as the Earthworm shall wiggle in dirt we too shall till our fields.

Just as the Earthworm shall entice fish, we too shall construct lures to attract our aquatic friends.

and just as the Earthworm shall grow into a Earthworm Python we too shall make all attempts to better ourselves in his image.

Many times the Chief has seen the White Man discard an Earthworm to simply make space for a trace of the lost colony. Never has the Chief seen such reversed priorities! Many times the Chief has seen the White Man feed his Earthworms to his turkeys..... But in the MM Tribe we feed our turkeys to our earthworms! And perhaps the worst ever is regifting! I have seen the gift of an Earthwrom from a compost bin gifted......... BACK INTO A COMPOST BIN!!!!!!

Until the White Man can learn to appreciate the Earthworm for all that it has done.... and all that it can do. The White Man will continue to remain blind to the wisdom that Mother Nature bestows. I implore you all who shall begin this cultural journey with me to keep your Earthworms for the next week. I urge you to simply bask in their glory. Quiet your mind, mute your speakers, and open your heart to the Earthworm and you will have taken your first step towards enlightenment. Those who wish to share their accomplishments are encouraged to post screenshots of their earthworms in this thread and the MM Tribe shall reward the winner with a special Tribal Gift before we begin Lesson #2.

Chief PeePooKaKa
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Re: Cultural Corner Lesson #1 (Earthworms)

Postby staxjax » Sun Oct 21, 2012 11:38 pm

My earthworms are more pure than your earthworms...
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most - Ozzy Osbourne

Confirmed retards: Nimmeth, Claeyt, MycroSparks
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Re: Cultural Corner Lesson #1 (Earthworms)

Postby jwhitehorn » Sun Oct 21, 2012 11:47 pm

I doubt it but you are more than welcome to show off the purity of your Earthworms if you really think you have a chance.

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Re: Cultural Corner Lesson #1 (Earthworms)

Postby Tonkyhonk » Mon Oct 22, 2012 5:16 am

earthworm exercise (mimizu no taisou)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJa6ZdvMVwY
this is how we worship earthworms on our planet.

Sing along and let them have a nice exercise!
mi mi zu no ta i so u (or, pronounced like "me me zoo no tah e so o")
(earthworm exercise, earthworm exercise)
ichi ni san shi (one two three four)
ni ni san shi (two two three four)
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Re: Cultural Corner Lesson #1 (Earthworms)

Postby Ass_Kraken » Mon Oct 22, 2012 9:29 pm

jwhitehorn wrote:Just as the Earthworm shall entice fish, we too shall construct lures to attract our aquatic friends.

I always just used the earthworm as bait.
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Re: Cultural Corner Lesson #1 (Earthworms)

Postby DonnEssime » Mon Oct 22, 2012 10:53 pm

I'm pretty sure there must be a terrible euphemism in there.

Also, i'm currently training my worm concordat to tackle a cricket.
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