The Return of Tarp I: Controlling the Market

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The Return of Tarp I: Controlling the Market

Postby Tarp_Marpton » Tue May 08, 2018 12:38 pm

Greetings Salem!

After my time away I have finally managed to return and oh my what a fantastic adventure I have been on! After my experience with those friendly natives as I was Tarp Marptoning in their neck of the woods, I decided to wander off to greener pastures. And boy did I! The fruits of Concord. The dangers of Popham. And more, friends. So much more! And now I have returned to the fair shores of Providence to see what has become of civilization, and I was not disappointed! You folks have developed an incredible economy!

So I wandered into the marketplace to see what I could spend my hard-earned coin on. Truth be told, I had a horrible craving for mutton. And so you can imagine my surprise when the first stall I came to was full to the brim with the sweet steaks, but with no price posted! With the owner out of sight, I couldn't figure out how to purchase the succulent morsels. I scoured the stalls and couldn't find any meats as sweet as these, and so I dug deep into my pockets and did what any self-respecting bloke would do!

Image

I bribed the local official to raise the taxes on the stall to an offensive level. I shocked the poor boy so badly his wig nearly toppled right off his noggin! But in his recovery, he met my eye with a look that said he knew well the cost of doing business and made the change in his docket. "You know," he said, composing himself with a hungry expression. "We could increase the taxes on it too. A little something for His Majesty?" Oooh hoo, time to continue shopping! Or so I thought! It wasn't long before I stumbled across a stall (which, although it hosted mutton, it was well-beyond its expiration date) and a few other curious items. One caught my eye and I was aghast!

Image

My innocence! If only I could purchase it back. But alas, this, like the sweet mutton, was out of my reach. So again, I went to the official and raised the the taxes on this stall as well to an offensive level. For surely they would get the message then that trading in the innocence of others is both sad and wrong. What in the world could I have ever done to this incredibly deranged individual that they would treat me like this? Could it be that many of the imagined slights never actually happened and were the byproduct of an unsound mind? Could it be that the acts were actually perpetrated by someone else who had lied to this person and said it was me and then I took the fall for it because that's what I do? It was so odd that he might even take the opportunity to vent his delusions without prompting in some kind of public forum without any external input, so strong would he be in his misplaced vendetta! None of it made much sense, so I hoped that, eventually, my innocence would be restored.

Image

And then there was this stall. Empty of reason. Empty of proof. Simply existing as a mockery to the commerce around it. I counted my silver. I would have enough to continue my deed in Providence. So I again bribed the local official to raise the taxes on this stall as well to an offensive level. Not all heroes wear capes, my friends. But this one does. And it's a mammoth cape because it is chilly out here! Burrr!

I realized that my activities may have been seen as unfair by a vocal minority who may be misconstruing my actions to think that I am specifically targeting them. So, in order to offset the negative things I had done, I decided that I would use some of my sway with the man in the wig to reduce the taxation of every other stall in the marketplace by 10%! This tax break would obviously stimulate the economy and promote the welfare of trade. The man in the wig patted my back for being so thoughtful, generous, and smart. Heehee! As we were speaking, this weird dog came sniffing around and started barking as though it had even the most remote clue what was happening. He was totaly barking up the place. But luckily it was easy to ignore as my job was finished and I had so many tasks left ahead! Oh I'm so excited Salem to do so much good here in the New World. Until next time!

Image
Last edited by Tarp_Marpton on Tue May 08, 2018 1:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: The Return of Tarp I: Controlling the Market

Postby GigiBecali » Tue May 08, 2018 12:51 pm

Tested, it works! Thanks a lot
HS: conopida
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Re: The Return of Tarp I: Controlling the Market

Postby goblin_babe » Tue May 08, 2018 12:52 pm

thanks marp. this is great :P
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Re: The Return of Tarp I: Controlling the Market

Postby ZoddAlmighty » Tue May 08, 2018 2:18 pm

This is beyond sad.
So, you are continuing to target Darwoth ? TM said that you are abysing your powers and they let it slide because you work for free. Now, instead of you trying to disprove their claims, you go and target Darwoths stall specifically even though he provided substantial evidence that you favour some people over others?
Amazing way to prove your innocence.
Are you trying to harras him untill he quits? Because, for what i know about him, he is one stubborn ***** and you are in for a treat.
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Re: The Return of Tarp I: Controlling the Market

Postby Qiresea » Tue May 08, 2018 2:32 pm

oh look, more dev-abuse, followed by an attempt to bribe/entertain the playerbase so that they will accept said abuse. how pathetic.

nice job, marp! now everyone believes that you are innocent!
Darwoth wrote:It really is not fair that every time you try to jab at me you make yourself look more retarded than any retort i could come up with.

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Γιά την Κυρία των τριών βασιλείων: της γης, του ουρανού και της θάλασσας.
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Re: The Return of Tarp I: Controlling the Market

Postby Darwoth » Tue May 08, 2018 2:39 pm

Tarp_Marpton wrote:Greetings Salem!

After my time away I have finally managed to return and oh my what a fantastic adventure I have been on! After my experience with those friendly natives as I was Tarp Marptoning in their neck of the woods, I decided to wander off to greener pastures. And boy did I! The fruits of Concord. The dangers of Popham. And more, friends. So much more! And now I have returned to the fair shores of Providence to see what has become of civilization, and I was not disappointed! You folks have developed an incredible economy!

So I wandered into the marketplace to see what I could spend my hard-earned coin on. Truth be told, I had a horrible craving for mutton. And so you can imagine my surprise when the first stall I came to was full to the brim with the sweet steaks, but with no price posted! With the owner out of sight, I couldn't figure out how to purchase the succulent morsels. I scoured the stalls and couldn't find any meats as sweet as these, and so I dug deep into my pockets and did what any self-respecting bloke would do!

Image

I bribed the local official to raise the taxes on the stall to an offensive level. I shocked the poor boy so badly his wig nearly toppled right off his noggin! But in his recovery, he met my eye with a look that said he knew well the cost of doing business and made the change in his docket. "You know," he said, composing himself with a hungry expression. "We could increase the taxes on it too. A little something for His Majesty?" Oooh hoo, time to continue shopping! Or so I thought! It wasn't long before I stumbled across a stall (which, although it hosted mutton, it was well-beyond its expiration date) and a few other curious items. One caught my eye and I was aghast!

Image

My innocence! If only I could purchase it back. But alas, this, like the sweet mutton, was out of my reach. So again, I went to the official and raised the the taxes on this stall as well to an offensive level. For surely they would get the message then that trading in the innocence of others is both sad and wrong. What in the world could I have ever done to this incredibly deranged individual that they would treat me like this? Could it be that many of the imagined slights never actually happened and were the byproduct of an unsound mind? Could it be that the acts were actually perpetrated by someone else who had lied to this person and said it was me and then I took the fall for it because that's what I do? It was so odd that he might even take the opportunity to vent his delusions without prompting in some kind of public forum without any external input, so strong would he be in his misplaced vendetta! None of it made much sense, so I hoped that, eventually, my innocence would be restored.

Image

And then there was this stall. Empty of reason. Empty of proof. Simply existing as a mockery to the commerce around it. I counted my silver. I would have enough to continue my deed in Providence. So I again bribed the local official to raise the taxes on this stall as well to an offensive level. Not all heroes wear capes, my friends. But this one does. And it's a mammoth cape because it is chilly out here! Burrr!

I realized that my activities may have been seen as unfair by a vocal minority who may be misconstruing my actions to think that I am specifically targeting them. So, in order to offset the negative things I had done, I decided that I would use some of my sway with the man in the wig to reduce the taxation of every other stall in the marketplace by 10%! This tax break would obviously stimulate the economy and promote the welfare of trade. The man in the wig patted my back for being so thoughtful, generous, and smart. Heehee! As we were speaking, this weird dog came sniffing around and started barking as though it had even the most remote clue what was happening. He was totaly barking up the place. But luckily it was easy to ignore as my job was finished and I had so many tasks left ahead! Oh I'm so excited Salem to do so much good here in the New World. Until next time!

Image





rofl nobody gives a ***** but you you pathetic little limpwristed ***** :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: The Return of Tarp I: Controlling the Market

Postby Sebthegrand » Tue May 08, 2018 2:41 pm

Salem looking normal today, more dev abuse. Sweet
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Re: The Return of Tarp I: Controlling the Market

Postby Hose » Tue May 08, 2018 3:02 pm

Daddy abuse me pls :oops: :oops:
My dog walks me to the park and doggy styles me, if you find that weird you're an arrogant gender-assuming bloodthirsty gun-loving cisgender bestial sexist incestuous white-previlege misogynistic biased raped privileged Nazi slave owner terrorist lesbian.
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Re: The Return of Tarp I: Controlling the Market

Postby Darwoth » Tue May 08, 2018 3:19 pm

feel free to grab them for the 3 people left playing :lol:

you can be cool and tell all your friends you have a piece of salem history where the blowjob dealer known as tarpton once again proved my point.

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Re: The Return of Tarp I: Controlling the Market

Postby Hose » Tue May 08, 2018 4:08 pm

Soon on salemthegame.com "The Return of Tarp II: Sucking off hillbillies in shady streets in Providence"
My dog walks me to the park and doggy styles me, if you find that weird you're an arrogant gender-assuming bloodthirsty gun-loving cisgender bestial sexist incestuous white-previlege misogynistic biased raped privileged Nazi slave owner terrorist lesbian.
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