Frail Spool

Announcements of major changes to Salem.

Frail Spool

Postby JohnCarver » Wed Apr 01, 2015 7:08 pm

Greetings Salemites,
We have been developing and this patch we have decided to take each and every concern of yours and address it head-on. We have determined that while we have a love and a passion for this game no love and passion could rival the sweat and tears you have invested into this game. Much like when a small child demands cake for breakfast, an elderly person with Alzheimer's disease tries to argue about what medicines they should mix, or a newborn appears to point to the steering wheel of your car as if to say "I can drive, please let me try". It is sometimes wiser to just give them exactly what they want and see how it works out firsthand. So without further ado. All your concerns in a single patch.

*PVE Server: Players may now play on a Single-Player PvE Environment where no other players can interact or harass them. To enable this feature simply never board the boat when making your character.

*Underground Streams: There is now a small chance of uncovering an Underground stream when mining. This water cannot be used for sifting, cannot be walked over, and upon swimming through it infects you with disease.

*Stockpiles: Ground Models will not clip and will stay on the ground between a varied amount of time (minutes to hours). This means it is entirely possible to drop up to 1,000 or more items onto the same tile, and simply pick them up later.

*Ghosts: When you die you may now come back as a ghost that has little to no risk of loss when dying. To do so, simply name your character "Ghost" at the NPC before leaving the docks, and then refuse to advance him. You may then follow around players in town typing "boo" and pretending they cannot see you.

*Auto-Sifting (Default Client): Players may now sift ALL rubble from their inventory provided that they have exactly 1 piece when starting.

*Skeletons: Players may now remove skeletons from town. To do so, click Adventure->Lift. Then left click the skeleton. This will raise him above your head. Proceed to left click (or use WASD) in a direction that is farther from town. I.E. if you are standing 5 meters from town, click somewhere that is 7 meters away as opposed to 3. Repeat this process until you cannot see town and then right click the ground anywhere.

*Fixed a bug that caused Full & Fed Up timer to not apply when using food for regen as opposed to gluttony. All food consumption will now correctly add to F&F timer.

*Force Field: New players will be placed inside of a bubble. Akin to the movie bubble boy. Inside this bubble they cannot catch disease, KO, Be lewted, receive damage, get blown up, receive chat (but they can say chat (but then people cannot hear them)), or walk. This should ensure that for the first week or so they cannot have a negative experience.

*Players may now make Giant crickets and ride them like a cricket rodeo.

*Store items cannot be looted. In addition any player who has made a store purchase immediately renews their Force Field bubble so that they cannot lose it.

*Lag: New Minigame: During a lag spike the client can now be minimized and maximized. Try to see how many times you can do it before the lag spike ends. This should cause lag spikes to be more fun and engaging. Records can be posted to the forums. Prizes will not be given.

*New Skybox implemented. We went with a star-less moon-less night.

*Pathfinding: We have implemented a new state of the art A.I known as the Darwinism Upgrade for Missed Boys. (D.U.M.B) aims to finish what natural selection couldn't. Players who now click into trees repeatedly over long periods of time seemingly unable to adjust to the concept of 'walking around' an object will be detected by D.U.M.B. and their accounts will be deleted. Unfortunately, this will do little to discourage botting as players who require pathfinding have displayed problem solving skills far below several bots written with https://www.tynker.com/ and thus the bots are largely undetected by D.U.M.B.

*Auction house: New Auction House has been added to town. You may now enter the townhouse near the snake oil salesman. Inside there you may use area chat to repeat the price that the highest player is offering you. You may do this until no higher price is offered. Upon completion, you may then use a barrel to deliver them the item and they may use the same barrel to deliver you the silver.

*Diseases: Diseases now permakill under all conditions to eliminate the confusion of cures.

*Fishing: All fish now get away to eliminate the confusion of fishing.

*Bridges: Players may now construct bridges by dropping dry boards on water tiles and then pretending that the "ploop" sound effects is the hammering sound effect. They may then contact Judaism to do some fancy tile swapping nonsense so their water looks like house floors.

*Player Town Stalls: Players may now build structures that operate similar to stalls in their own towns and villages. To do so, first gather boards and wood plugs and construct a wooden box with a sign. On the sign write the costs of everything in the box. In the box, place all the items you have for sale. Each week the owner of the wooden box should return to it, refill the items, and update their sign.

*Unslotting: Players may now unslot their clothing with an object known as a Frail Spool. Each thing that broke when making the broken slot will be refunded. Then the item will be re spawned with full slots and 0 difficulty so that you can try again. Frail Spools are given for free each time a socketing fails


Your Welcome
John Carver
ceedat wrote:the overwhelming frustration of these forums and the unnecessarily over complicated game mechanics is what i enjoy about this game most.

Nsuidara wrote:it is a strange and difficult game in no positive way
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Re: Frail Spool

Postby Nikixos » Wed Apr 01, 2015 7:10 pm

YES I WAS WAITING FOR THIS
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Re: Frail Spool

Postby Hose » Wed Apr 01, 2015 7:12 pm

April fools? ¦]
My dog walks me to the park and doggy styles me, if you find that weird you're an arrogant gender-assuming bloodthirsty gun-loving cisgender bestial sexist incestuous white-previlege misogynistic biased raped privileged Nazi slave owner terrorist lesbian.
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Re: Frail Spool

Postby Ntlosa » Wed Apr 01, 2015 7:12 pm

Image
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Re: Frail Spool

Postby Heffernan » Wed Apr 01, 2015 7:12 pm

FAKE!
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Re: Frail Spool

Postby Argentis » Wed Apr 01, 2015 7:13 pm

BEST PATCH EVER! I love the Remove Skeletons feature. Also I'm definitely gonna make a ghost with perma bubble field.
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Re: Frail Spool

Postby JohnCarver » Wed Apr 01, 2015 7:13 pm

Heffernan wrote:FAKE!


Prove it.
ceedat wrote:the overwhelming frustration of these forums and the unnecessarily over complicated game mechanics is what i enjoy about this game most.

Nsuidara wrote:it is a strange and difficult game in no positive way
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Re: Frail Spool

Postby Argentis » Wed Apr 01, 2015 7:13 pm

JohnCarver wrote:
Heffernan wrote:FAKE!


Prove it.


BOOoooooooooooooooooooooo I'm a ghoooooosssstttt!
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Re: Frail Spool

Postby JohnCarver » Wed Apr 01, 2015 7:14 pm

Argentis wrote:BOOoooooooooooooooooooooo I'm a ghoooooosssstttt!


Irrefutable evidence patch is real. Thx for confirmation Argentis.
ceedat wrote:the overwhelming frustration of these forums and the unnecessarily over complicated game mechanics is what i enjoy about this game most.

Nsuidara wrote:it is a strange and difficult game in no positive way
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Re: Frail Spool

Postby Lallaith » Wed Apr 01, 2015 7:15 pm

you are a cruel man jc give us our patch
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